Freethought & Rationalism Archive

IonMic · 03-27-2006, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by post tenebras lux

But where is/was his heavenly father?

And how was his body moved from the surface of planet earth to be with his heavenly father?

Earlier you stated that you don't think god can break the laws of physics, but where did the body of Jesus go, and how did it get from here to there?

Being he is heavenly father i would imagine he was in heaven.

As I have not been to heaven I cannot tell you how this is done or how you travel from here to there.

JEST2ASK · 03-27-2006, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pervy

When the angels rolled aside the huge boulder that was blocking the entrance to the tomb, there was a bit of a logistical cock-up and they pushed rather than pulling.

Unfortunately, Jesus was helping to push from the other side at the same time, and the result was that the boulder rolled right over him flattening his body completely and squashing it into the tablecloth that he had laid out ready for his "welcome back" picnic with the Disciples.

The tablecloth has been kept to this day - and that is why when you look at it (the "Shroud of Turin" as it is now called) you will see that the image on it is a flat one, rather than the distorted image you would get if it were wrapped around a three dimensional person.

Well, I think my hypothesis has more explanatory power (and is more plausible) than anything the Christian apologists will come up with...

:notworthy: Dang beaten by Joan of Bark (

name)

post tenebras lux · 03-28-2006, 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IonMic

Being he is heavenly father i would imagine he was in heaven.

As I have not been to heaven I cannot tell you how this is done or how you travel from here to there.

So, you don't know how he 'bodily ascended' to heaven, but you are still sure that no laws of physics were broken whilst he was getting there?

Do you know where this heaven place is? If he can 'bodily ascend' to it, surely it is 'up there' somewhere? As we can get astronauts to the moon and back, will we - theoretically at least - be able to get them to heaven and back one day?

IonMic · 03-28-2006, 01:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by post tenebras lux

So, you don't know how he 'bodily ascended' to heaven, but you are still sure that no laws of physics were broken whilst he was getting there?

Yes

Quote:

Originally Posted by post tenebras lux

Do you know where this heaven place is? If he can 'bodily ascend' to it, surely it is 'up there' somewhere? As we can get astronauts to the moon and back, will we - theoretically at least - be able to get them to heaven and back one day?

Yes, Yes and sorry I am a web developer not a NASA engineer so am unable to tell you the answer to the last part.

post tenebras lux · 03-28-2006, 01:53 AM

IonMic, I hope I'm right in thinking that the last two yeses are for you knowing where heaven is and that it is 'up there' somewhere.

So, where is heaven? Can you please a little more precise about its location and about how you know where it's located? Is it close enough for Jesus and his body to have just floated off to it? Did he have air to breath on his ascension, or did his physical body no longer need oxygen?

Thanks.

Oxymoron · 03-28-2006, 02:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by post tenebras lux

IonMic, I hope I'm right in thinking that the last two yeses are for you knowing where heaven is and that it is 'up there' somewhere.

So, where is heaven? Can you please a little more precise about its location and about how you know where it's located? Is it close enough for Jesus and his body to have just floated off to it? Did he have air to breath on his ascension, or did his physical body no longer need oxygen?

Thanks.

Presumably any physical body that can be moved upwards through solid rock doesn't need oxygen

Question: how fast would Jebus' body have had to move to get to heaven? We know that the edge of the universe is ~13.5 billion light years away, and I'm guessing heaven isn't part of our physical universe, so let's see... warp factor 10, captain? If it is part of the universe...

post tenebras lux · 03-28-2006, 02:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oxymoron

Presumably any physical body that can be moved upwards through solid rock doesn't need oxygen

Question: how fast would Jebus' body have had to move to get to heaven? We know that the edge of the universe is ~13.5 billion light years away, and I'm guessing heaven isn't part of our physical universe, so let's see... warp factor 10, captain? If it is part of the universe...

Hi Oxy. It's just that IonMic has previously stated that his god doesn't break the laws of physics (i.e. that any and all actual miracles aren't real magic, just 'magic tricks' and 'sleight of hand' like Penn and Teller do, I suppose). But then he has heavy gold plates vanishing from New England hillsides (not to mention this thread, which he started), so I'm kind of confused and seeking his clarifications.

Moroni can't travel faster than light, and matter can't just disappear without a heck of a lot of energy taking its place, so where is this heaven that Moroni took the gold plates back to?
The same place (I assume) is also where Jesus 'bodily ascended' to.

Oxymoron · 03-28-2006, 02:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by post tenebras lux

Hi Oxy. It's just that IonMic has previously stated that his god doesn't break the laws of physics (i.e. that any and all actual miracles aren't real magic, just 'magic tricks' and 'sleight of hand' like Penn and Teller do, I suppose). But then he has heavy gold plates vanishing from New England hillsides (not to mention this thread, which he started), so I'm kind of confused and seeking his clarifications.

Moroni can't travel faster than light, and matter can't just disappear without a heck of a lot of energy taking its place, so where is this heaven that Moroni took the gold plates back to?
The same place (I assume) is also where Jesus 'bodily ascended' to.

Well you can't say "Moroni" without saying "moron"... all of which goes to prove my choice of handle wasn't so clever as I thought it was

IonMic · 03-28-2006, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by post tenebras lux

IonMic, I hope I'm right in thinking that the last two yeses are for you knowing where heaven is and that it is 'up there' somewhere.

So, where is heaven? Can you please a little more precise about its location and about how you know where it's located? Is it close enough for Jesus and his body to have just floated off to it? Did he have air to breath on his ascension, or did his physical body no longer need oxygen?

Thanks.

Quote:

Elder Bruce R. McConkie taught:

Kolob means "the first creation." It is the name of the planet "nearest to the celestial, or the residence of God." It is "first in government, the last pertaining to the measurement of time. . . . One day in Kolob is equal to a thousand years according to the measurement of this earth." (Book of Abraham, pp. 34-35; Abra. 3:3-9.) ( Mormon Doctrine, p.428)

Please note that Kolob is the nearest planet to the residence of God, not the residence itself and is presumably a star.

As to how close it is to earth I have no idea. as to whether a glorified and perfected being needs oxygen I can only presume not as they are afterall eternal beings.
As for the speed jesus can travel it is only a presumption that he can only travel at the speed of light as for your presumption to be correct you must first agree that man knows all possible science at this point in time and well quite frankly we presume we know lots but who is to say there is not more?

Oxymoron · 03-28-2006, 11:45 AM

Frickin' Heck!!! That's the funniest - and also the saddest - thing I've read in 4 years of IIDB

:rolling:

(Please tell me it's not serious)

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03-28-2006, 01:53 AM	#25
post tenebras lux Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Republic and Canton of Geneva Posts: 5,756	IonMic, I hope I'm right in thinking that the last two yeses are for you knowing where heaven is and that it is 'up there' somewhere. So, where is heaven? Can you please a little more precise about its location and about how you know where it's located? Is it close enough for Jesus and his body to have just floated off to it? Did he have air to breath on his ascension, or did his physical body no longer need oxygen? Thanks.

03-28-2006, 11:45 AM	#30
Oxymoron Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: http://10.0.0.2/ Posts: 6,623	Frickin' Heck!!! That's the funniest - and also the saddest - thing I've read in 4 years of IIDB :rolling: (Please tell me it's not serious)

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