Jay GW

Relationship

A particular type of connection existing between people related to or having dealings with each other
a state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection)

Healthy

Soundness, especially of body or mind; freedom from disease or abnormality
A condition of optimal well-being
____

Is there a difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships?

I put this in philosophy because it has to do with an absolute or relative -- if you don't think there are absolutes, then what's wrong with a relationship where one person is a willing slave and abused by the other one? What if the wife is beaten but doesn't leave or report her husband to the police? What about the woman in Saudi Arabia that stays with her husband who won't let her drive? Is there anything particularly wrong with that?

You can't judge one relationship as better or worse unless you've an ideal or a standard, can you?

Why does the fact a relationship follows traditional, "normal" accepted forms make it right and worth continuing?

Does the fact there is a huge variety of relationships mean they're all equally worthy?

EricK

I can judge one meal as being tastier than another without an ideal standard to compare them to.

The fact that there are a huge variety of meals doesn't mean they are equally worthy (to me).

There may be nothing "wrong" with the relationship examples you gave. But suppose someone is happy in one of those relationships but would be even happier in another kind, then can't we say that the second relationship would be better?

Eric

Preno

The situation where one person is a slave is certainly not very good. Why? Because. Because I think so, and because you think so, and because most people think so.

JamesBannon

This either shows complete ignorance of what such relationships are actually like or just plain indifference to the plight of any women placed in these situations (and if it's the latter you ought to be shot - metaphorically speaking of course). What makes a man right for beating on any woman? Have you ever seen the effective abusive relationships actually have? Do you realise how trapped individuals can feel within such relationships and just how low there self-esteem is? What about the possibility of death (in Saudi Arabia for instance)? The kind of argument that says "it's your fault and no action should be taken" makes me sick!

Preno

That's exactly the point. Some people just don't recognize arguments based on the 'extra-rational' (i.e., simple human empathy and such).

JamesBannon

Yeah I know. The subjectivist says "if it feels good to me, then it's good", the relativist says "if society says it's good then it's good", the religionist says "if God says it's good, it's good" and the eliminativists say "moral truth doesn't exist at all". I really wonder why they can't see the similarity between these apparently opposing views!

kennethamy

Well, if it comes to that, what is wrong with a person being very ill, or what is right with a person in robust health? Why does the fact that a person's body "follows traditional "normal' accepted forms" make such a body worth having?

Jay GW

So everything is up to the individual and if the person says that the fact they're not allowed to drive and are beaten is fine, that makes it fine?

So are you allowing your children to play over at the house with the children of the beaten lady?

UncleJim

There is not right of ownership of another person. All relationships must be conducted by the principle of mutual agreement to mutual benefit. All valid relationships are of a contractual nature. Each person must be aware of what they are doing; including the consequences of their actions on others; including the consequences their actions will bring upon themselves.

EricK

If they are happy in that relationship and would be unhappy out of it then why should I force unhappiness on them? Of course that is probably not the case, and if they say they are fine with it, they may well be lying.

To take an example closer to home, I know of women who are genuinely happy to let their husbands handle all the finances and give them an allowance to spend. Now that is not the sort of relationship I would want to have with a wife, but if they are both happy with it then good luck to them.

Why wouldn't I let my children play there? Must I punish their children because of the crimes of their father?

Eric