ten to the eleventh

tezz,
Wikipedia has a decent article on it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapture

No mention of Blondie in there, for some reason.

As far as dates go, just google "rapture predictions" and have at it. Predicting the rapture is a favorite hobby of the "God's gonna getcha!" American fundies. Some of the predictions coalesce from bizarre biblical numerology, and are (or have been) very specific, others are like weather predictions: "There is a strong chance of the rapture occurring within the next five years." But universally, the rapture has been, and is, said to be imminent, or "soon." Good luck trying to pin them down on "soon." I've tried in the past, but the harder you squeeze, the more slippery they'll get, like a wet bar of soap (careful, though, because if it isn't wet enough, you can squeeze it so hard that it just squishes out between your fingers, and then you just have a mess).

Believers like Magus55 tout current events as indicative of the "End Times" in which the Rapture will occur. Magus recently confidently offered the truly unspectacular fact that Mt. St. Helens in our Washington state is about to burp, as an indication that "the world is looking more and more prophetic."

They claim, as they have for what, 2000 years, that the signs of the end are obvious to anyone with eyes, but, as Magus sagely remarks, "Not that atheists notice anything." Yeah, like the fact that they have been saying this shit for 2000 years.

ref: http://www.iidb.org/vbb/showthread.p...4&page=2&pp=25

ten to the eleventh

When I first read the thread title, I saw "Liberal Rapture." and thought that someone might be offering the glorious hope that we true believers in liberalism might be swept up, bodily, and taken to some wonderful, wonderful place where the air is clean, the water is pure, animals coexist harmoniously, and we all love and respect each other, despite our cultural differences. And the concerts would be sweet .

The conservatives, on the other hand, would be left to their own hellish devices, fouling the earth they live on, killing and maiming and warring, spiralling downwards into miserable ignorance, festering in their disease-ridden self-imposed feudalistic earth-hell, with the wailing and the gnashing and the crying...

And all just because they were too proud to admit the truth of liberalism as plainly presented to them by the prophets Noam Chomsky and Gloria Steinem. You see, conservatives choose to stay in Hell.

Come, come with me to the wonderful liberal heaven!

ten to the eleventh

gregor

But who would you tax since no one has jobs?

Toto

Well, you can't read our current culture back into first century Palestine. You notice that Matthew has two men working in the field; Luke amends this to two men lazing around in bed, with the implication that women would be working while men relaxed. This proto-feminist jab at men is part of the evidence that Randal Helms uses to speculate that Luke was actually a woman.

Jeremy Pallant

...and Christians wonder why we don't take their prophecies seriously. 2000 years of failed End Times/Rupture/Armageddon/Parousia/etc prophecy doesn't make for credibility.

To my mind, the most entertaining website covering this subject is The End Of The World As We Know It...Again.

Epictetus

I find it fascinating that fundies (at least those who are Dispensationalists) believe the parousia to be one of the highlights of their religious life. They all look forward to this event as the culmination of their lives. This is evidenced by the popularity of Tim LaHaye's fictious series called the "Left Behind" series. This is a collection of books detailing how all the Christians will be plopped from the earth up into the clouds with J.C. while all us infidels are left down here on earth. Not having ever read this tripe myself, as I understand it, the main thrust of the books is how those of us who were unfortunate enough to remain behind must now deal with "The Beast" , etc. from Revelation

Why do Christians dig this #$%* so much? :huh:

Naruto

So is each person in America gonna disappear three to four times over, or what?

Amantia Muscaria

Hey you should be careful!!!!! According to the Bible, there will be wars, rumors of wars, famine, natural disasters, and..... uh well it appears that this stuff has always been here, so..... Always expect it! That's what is taught. Not the part that it's always been here, but that the antichrist is upon us. :devil1: After hearing this 3 times a week for for my entire life I know the arguments. :banghead: And I know that until I see a world controlling dictator that makes you get "the mark of the beast" I'll be skeptical. And for you who don't know, the mark of the beast is the number of man which is 666. How a number is evil I don't know, but if people disappear :wave: ..... I'll be saved! :notworthy Hope I haven't offended anyone.

apocalypsecow

Far from it. In fact, if it wasn't for the Website that Jeremy posted, you'd be the funniest thing on this thread.

ten to the eleventh

That depends of your interpretation of Hebrew. It might be 616. Or maybe it's the square root of 616....Run away!!