Doctor X

HA! Years ago there was this guy called "Dr. O. Lee Jaggers." He seemed to have a very low rent operation--looked like he films out of a storage locker. You never saw his audience--every so often he would call to them and you heard the murmur from whatever homeless slob they paid to sit there.

As weeks and months progressed . . . and the donations flowed in . . . the place improved. Anyways, one of his big things was the Golden Altar of God. I think this was in reference to OT demands to only sacrifice at the Temple, but he had some paraphrased passage which went on for about five minutes about the "Golden altar of God . . . blood of the lamb . . . blah, blah."

Whenever he mentioned said GAofG he would repeat this long, long schpeel! That, alone was entertaining:

Over time said the GAofG which Blah blah blabbity blah became more ornate from the covered card table it started out as. Apparently, the checks cleared.

Well, one day, he had a "gift" to offer his growing audience. A hand which had lay upon the Golden Altar of God Blah blah blabbity blah. This "hand" consisted of a piece of yellow felt with the tracing of a hand not unlike something you expected from Logan's Run. This "hand" he would place on the GAofG which Blah blah blabbity blah for seven days and then send it to you. You then placed it on yourself for some variable period so that you would feel the power of the GAofG which Blah blah blabbity blah.

He had letters from satisfied customers. One was a woman who wrote that her husband beat her frequently. So she sent for the GAofG which Blah blah blabbity blah.

Yes, in her letter she apparently reproduced the Blah blah blabbity blahs! She placed the hand that had lain on the GAofG which Blah blah blabbity blah on herself for like three days..

Now, as she explained in her letter, her husband still beat her, but now she did not mind because she knew she had the Power of GAofG which Blah blah blabbity blah!

Oye!

--J. "GAofG which Blah blah blabbity blah" D.

[Edited to Blah blah blabbity blah because you cannot have the Golden Altar of God which Blah blah blabbity blah without the Blah blah blabbity blah because, without the Blah blah blabbity blah, it is not the Golden Altar of God which Blah blah blabbity blah.--Ed.]

richard2