KingLouie

Let's see who can write the best O.P. giving moderators the biggest headache in trying to figure out which forum it belongs in.

I'll go first:

Dear Moral Foundations & Principles Forum,

Republicans suck. And it's because they advocate school prayer more than anything, which is an absolute affront to our Secular Society, if you really start to think about it.

They also advocate Creationism over Evolution, which is wholly contradictory to the scientific method. These republicans should know by now that nothing really exists after all, except for maybe on a metaphysical level.
By the way, it's very nice to meet you. This is my first time posting on this forum board.

I like fried chicken legs, That 70's Show, and veganism. My dislikes are Arnold Swarzzeneger, gray dog turds, and egg whites. Click on my user name and profile to view my avatar.

My boobs aren't fake, in case you were wondering.

But enough about me. Like I was saying, these Republicans refuse to admit that the bible is often fallible, just as Richard Carrier skillfully pointed out in his recent debate.

By the way, I would like to congratulate Mr. Carrier for his scholarly pwnage over Licona on the resurrection of Jesus Christ. So if any of you guys see him lurking around somewhere, give him my email address and tell him to give me a holla.

Anyhoo, I'd like to tell you a joke to lighten the mood. Because that's the main reason I am posting to you now: to make you laugh.

So. What begins with an "F" and ends in "UCK?"

Firetruck.

But back to those Republicans. I hereby challenge any of you Nazis to a grueling formal debate, in which I will argue that Republicans who post here should be placed on everyone's "ignore" list.

Oh yeah, that reminds me: my "ignore" button isn't working too good. I've hit it like 8 times since I got here earlier today, and nothing. Also, earlier when I was thrashing a fundie in GRD, I got spammed with Lakewood Baptist emails -- like 20 of them. I'm trying to figure out if it's my browser settings on this website, or if seebs was getting back at me for that "long hair" comment in the Conference Room. So let me know.

It is my overall objective to see that this procedure is implemented: that republicans are silenced by either the users of this site on an individual basis, or that I, myself, be granted the position of Moderator so that I can do all the censoring on my own.

So I guess what I'm saying is, I'd really like to become a moderator. Is there anybody reading this post who can make me a moderator? Because I would really like the passcodes so I can fortify our collective Democratic front.

Anyway, I've been very pissed off at the way anti-democrat threads have been cuddled around here, while the anti-republican threads are obviously moderated up-and-down for content. You guys don't moderate too good, is what I'm saying. So consider this post an official complaint.

You guys really need to get your crap together, or I plan to post every PM I've ever received from all the female moderators on this board who have PM'ed me and told me I was hot.

You know what? I think I'd rather speak with you guys in private. I don't feel too comfortable with all the anti-democrats who can read this.

But before I do, I'd just like to say that Buddhism, Hinduism, Scientology and Taoism is filled with republican scum. You may not know it yet; but soon, whenever you succeed in breaking free of all your bodily shrouds that blind you from the true and inescapable Physical, rendering you blind of the actual origins of matter that are exploding from the curtains of celestial foam that line our starlit skies, you will know that I need to become a moderator, so that no more "ignore" buttons will ever become faulty again.

From the Jungles of Skiddsville to ~Elsewhere~,

Kang Louie

Tubby Lardmore

JFK was assassinated from a sewer manhole by a rifle-toting Pat Nixon, who hoped her husband would thereby win the presidency.

On the other hand, it has been really cold here the last few days. Leaves have been falling off trees.

Why don't leaves fall upward? Isn't gravity symmetrical with respect to time? Why don't they fall both up and down at the same time?

Pat Nixon was kind of pretty. Whatever happened to Tricia Nixon-Cox?

Does truth exist as an actual property? Can we taste it? If it were the case that 1 + 1 = pi, what language would I be speaking...

Ah, you win, KL.

regis

Why do birds suddenly
Appear
Everytime
You are near?

Where is Hitler?

Why is Spain?




:devil1:

NZSkep

maybe we could try starting a thread in one forum, changing the subjest and getting ti moved (without asking for it to be moved) to a different forum and so on. we could have races with different threads and see if we can get them to appear in every forum and then back to the original one

KingLouie

NZSkep,

I think you just blew up a mod's head. An absolute post of perfection.

From the Jungles of Tylenol 4,

Kang Louie

Soul Invictus

:rolling:

So would this be done in the form of editing your posts, or simply changing the topic mid-thread?

:rolling:

perfessor

Hmmm - sounds like a metaphor for theistic evolution vs. natural selection, don't you think?

Jesus Tap-Dancin' Christ

Consider the spoon. It is a perfect metaphor for nazism. I mean, look at it. It screams racial purity. Just like those republicans. That's why they freed the slaves. To preserve racial purity. Which brings me to Ken Ham. Oink oink Ham. He's an oink-oink.

Do you like colors? They're pretty.

Okay, back to the spoon. Spoons...they're shiny. If you can't see that, then a Jew will stab you in the back. That's what Jews do. They formed the Nazi party too. Why? I don't know. But they did. Probably to rid themselves of the "dead weight" of their peoples. See, it's a brilliant plan. Look at all the ones who got out: mostly the smart, rich, or resourceful. Forced evolution. And, they got Hitler (a Jew) to start a war that they knew he would lose, but not before weeding the Jews of the infirm. Of course, no one would possibly believe this, so they're scott free. I discovered this from the curvature of the spoon I ate from today. It was shiny. Reflective. It screamed racial purity.

Just like this smiley::Cheeky: Look at it. Racial purity.

That's why the Arabs attacked the WTC. It's obvious. They were trying to set up the Jews for a fall. But, you see, the Jews were clever. They saw this. So they withdrew their own agents from the attack. Clever, see? Racial purity.

Sonnets. I like sonnets. Especially ones about spoons. And their links to racial purity. Like this one:

Spoons are racially pure
I know this to be true
I cannot with this demure
Because skies are blue.

Sieg Heil Jews! Sieg Heil!
Yummy, yummy. I like pies
And today, I ran a mile.
Blue, blue skies.

Racially pure object, the spoon
I use it to eat, that nazi
I carved out a cheese from the moon
Now I am racially free.

Laugh, I dare you bitch.
I'm now filthy rich.

See? SEE? OH MY GOD!

:huh:

I lost train of thought. A spoon attacked me, you see. It was blathering on about world peace. Peace through unity. SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
---------------------------------------------

Honest to god rantings some homeless guy spouted off at me. This got me thinking about something important: healthcare for the homeless. Most homeless people are there because they have mental illness that makes it difficult for them to maintain a job, and therefore medications. Why do we as a society let this happen to us? Is it because of those
FILTHY FUCKING SPOONS? dIDN'T sEE tHAT oNE cOMING, nOW dID yOu? hMMmmMmMMmmmMMM??????


tHIS THREAd BELOnGS In eLsEwHeRe.

fast

To our beloved moderators and administrators who care enough for our cause to take time out of their lives to make this a better place.

My primary interest for gracing everyone with my self proclaimed legitimate feedback is so that I can contribute to our beloved Secular Web Library; however, before I begin laying out the kinks and technical bugs that prevent the conveyance of my brilliance, I feel that it would be disingenuous of me not to be upfront and candid concerning some of problems I’m having with the administration. My complaint surrounds the lack of sufficient and prompt moderating within and pertaining to the conference room. I realize the need may not seem that great right now, but I would be remiss not to bring it up now before our expansion that I‘m sure would be looming around the corner if I were brought on board as a moderator, for I also feel that I could become a part of a great team that strives to keep our other forums running smoothly, thus each and every forum will flourish including but not limited to the before mentioned forums.

I have many philosophical questions that I’m going to need answered before I accept the position, however. But first, I need to know more about the actual time requirements or expectations of me. For example, how much time should I spend moderating? Do not skimp in your exhaustive coverage of this question. Be very specific. Not only how much time, but please define your meaning of time as well. In addition to this and other pertinent timeless questions, I’m going to need everyone’s exact position on the God issue, given the inevitable conflict that I’m going to run into. This information will prove a valuable addition to my contribution as indicated near the opening of this correspondence, so be thorough and precise in regards to any supporting evidence you may have to justify your stance on the highly debated aspects of God.

Another complaint I have is that we are constantly running away the theists. People are different, and so we should be flexible with our portrayal of history. When I was in school, Columbus discovered America, and later on, he discovered the Bahamas, so since history can change for us, then we ought to be able to adapt by interpreting the historical biblical accounts to please everyone. Everyone has their own version of how things happened, and if we could adapt to the fluid environment of belief, then everyone can be right. Take the origins and diversity of life issue; How it was can be adapted to fit everyone, and if we do that then we could be one big happy family. Imagine the sociopolitical ramifications!

Unfortunately, the skeptics in the science community isn’t going to take a liking to that suggestion, and I agree, so it’s not my suggestion as I have purported it to be. My knowledge and understanding of this is yet another reason why I think I’m qualified to be a moderator. In fact, I’m prepared now to offer a method whereby all our problems can be solved and understood. I have the solutions! I’ll begin telling you by first looking at the moral implications of both science and skepticism. We’ll explore all the facets of immorality, subjectivism, objectivism, social contracts and what it all means. From here we will begin to realize the need to ensure Church and state separation. Understand that the bugs will have to be worked out regarding school prayer if our efforts as team members will produce the desired results we seek. I’m so sure of my moderation abilities that all world views will unite, including but not limited to non-Abrahamic religions. This area is in immediate need of attention, so I’ll discuss it in detail; however, at this time, I need to briefly mention some miscellaneous religious sticking points that will play an important role later as I continue my digression.

The first one deals with not too common issues and formal debates regarding them. If I am to include web feedback of a respectable caliber, then I expect a sticky on every forum so we can attract additional viewership. The second issue closely related to the former is my proposal for how it will be done. I challenge anyone who has a better idea. I dare to pick up the gauntlet; after all, we must work hard to ensure all parameters are covered.

Oh my Sun God, I forgot to mention who I am. I’m Foxtrot Alpha Sierra Tango, or FAST for short. As potential head moderator, I will do my best to socialize and make new members comfy and cozy. I’ll encourage and even support their drug habits and ridicule them when they choose to face their daily challenges. I’m kidding, and you know I’m kidding, for positive atheism isn’t about doing that which is bad. It’s about being positive and uplifting--motivational even; moreover, I think a couple new activities to bring us together as a big happy family would be great, so long as we defuse any religious mingling or theological debating in those activities. We can discuss things like what it’s like to be secular in a largely theistic culture, or hell, we can just talk about any such miscellaneous thing that comes up in general, whether it be media & Popular culture or politics. Speaking of books and movies, we do need to cover these issues in depth at this time, and then we ought to compare the economic implications of the political dynamics of such television programs that might surface on occasion.

Humor is of extreme importance in being a moderator. That’s my motto. Did you see the sign on the church? It said, “JESUS WALKS ON WATER�?. I didn’t think to much of it until later on when they changed the sign to “SEARCHIN’ FOR JESUS�?. Last but not least, the issue of atheistic hell is something that will need to be addressed, but my notes in those regards happen to be elsewhere at the moment.

The Other Michael

Where are the Snowdens of yesteryear?

My girlfriend's fundy parents often protest the Wiccan displays at City Hall, since they might defame a god (or goddess), if it exists in the Umwelt, because the Wiccans (who are all socialists) are for homeopathic remedies, and homos don't need remediation in an ideal world, which might exist if we could ever resolve the problems in Ethniclashistan, which are clearly due to a lack of decent WWW browsers that can channel the talking rocks that were used in the very large (1.3x103 meters**3) bilges of Noah's Ark, and besides that the overly zealous editing of my prior posts prevented me from exposing the Illuminati Trilateral Commission's conspiracy to subvert IIDB into a Rapture Ready wannabe site filled with silly Buffy the VS threads that just get in the way of promoting the most recent Godless March on Peoria, which of course was brutally put down by the jackbooted hordes of Libertarians, who under the direction of their alien Lizard masters, couldn't identify three consecutive guitar riffs from Duane Eddy if their lazy fair (Ren Fair more likely) religious schools had actually taken their vouchers instead of turning them loose during Holi for even more wild Moderator running amok.

Or something like that.

cheers,
Michael