Freethought & Rationalism Archive

pierneef · 09-13-2004, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Well, my educated guess it that the vibrations from the stereo push the nail clippers while the EMFs from the telephone draw the nail clippers towards the teen's ear. The heat from hours of ear to phone contact causes the nail clippers to soften and slip neatly through the ear canal and into the skull where they somehow (I'm no neurologist) cause amnesia.

How many do you imagine can be absorbed in this way ? Given the ample empty space in the average teenager's skull, along with, I guess, some natural cellular compression process, I wouldnt be surprised if it werent a pretty high number.

Bright Life · 09-13-2004, 03:00 PM

Actually, nail clippers are only an egg sac for safety pins, which later grow into wire hangers. This is obviously the answer. No one has seen a Martian, but we all have seen safety pins and wire hangers of unknown origins. I am constantly amazed that the Magoo Institute is so far behind in non-carbon based biological research. They really should have been able to figure this one out.

stardog · 09-13-2004, 03:18 PM

Oh come on, didn't you guys take physics. Due to quantum fluctuations nail clippers and socks are pulled into alternate universes.

no_more_700_club · 09-13-2004, 03:59 PM

They die soon after mating with the 'socks that go in the laundry, but never come out'.

christ-on-a-stick · 09-13-2004, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wonkothesane

Martians my ass...sheesh people, be realistic...

They go the same place that ballpoint pens and left socks go...WORMHOLES.

It's all very scientific.

Minor correction... ballpoint pens go to my house. This explains why I have hundreds and hundreds (maybe thousands?) of them, mostly ones that don't work.

Although.... does this mean my house is a wormhole?

maddog · 09-13-2004, 04:39 PM

No, no, no.
You guys are ALL wrong.
I have it by revealed authority of great antiquity that "The Borrowers" are responsible for this phenomenon. If you had ever read these sacred texts, you would understand the grand mystery of the gospel and revelation of "The Borrowers."

pierneef · 09-13-2004, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Actually, nail clippers are only an egg sac for safety pins, which later grow into wire hangers. This is obviously the answer. No one has seen a Martian, but we all have seen safety pins and wire hangers of unknown origins. I am constantly amazed that the Magoo Institute is so far behind in non-carbon based biological research. They really should have been able to figure this one out.

That is a very ingenious observation...now what we have to establish is whether the increase in population of previously unknown coat hangers is in any way correlated with the disappearance of nail clippers. I am rather nervous about this, as previously uinknown wire coat hangers seem to materialise in rather greater quantity; so maybe there are some other factors involved.

The Magoo Institute claims to have a living Martian in a shopping bag. The evidence however (the words "LIVING MARTIAN" on its T shirt) is not very convincing. However, it does apparently have only one leg and wears a left-footed human sock. We shouldnt be too hasty to judge.

pierneef · 09-13-2004, 05:28 PM

If you want a hilarious diversion from this very serious topic, go to:

www.invention.com/shaw.htm

wonkothesane · 09-13-2004, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christ-on-a-stick

Minor correction... ballpoint pens go to my house. This explains why I have hundreds and hundreds (maybe thousands?) of them, mostly ones that don't work.

Although.... does this mean my house is a wormhole?

Probably the other end of the pen wormhole hyperspace network is located in your house...

We can conduct an easy experiment to find out for sure...I'll drop a black Fisher ultrafine behind my couch...and let me know if it shows up at your place...

Btw, have you noticed and odd behavour from any of your major appliances?

pierneef · 09-13-2004, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Btw, have you noticed and odd behavour from any of your major appliances?

All of them. Isnt that normal ?

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09-13-2004, 03:00 PM	#22
Bright Life Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 8,345	Actually, nail clippers are only an egg sac for safety pins, which later grow into wire hangers. This is obviously the answer. No one has seen a Martian, but we all have seen safety pins and wire hangers of unknown origins. I am constantly amazed that the Magoo Institute is so far behind in non-carbon based biological research. They really should have been able to figure this one out.

09-13-2004, 03:18 PM	#23
stardog Regular Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: North Carolina Posts: 160	Oh come on, didn't you guys take physics. Due to quantum fluctuations nail clippers and socks are pulled into alternate universes.

09-13-2004, 03:59 PM	#24
no_more_700_club Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Salish Sea Posts: 1,727	They die soon after mating with the 'socks that go in the laundry, but never come out'.

09-13-2004, 04:39 PM	#26
maddog Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: nm Posts: 2,826	No, no, no. You guys are ALL wrong. I have it by revealed authority of great antiquity that "The Borrowers" are responsible for this phenomenon. If you had ever read these sacred texts, you would understand the grand mystery of the gospel and revelation of "The Borrowers."

09-13-2004, 05:28 PM	#28
pierneef Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Maryland, USA Posts: 998	If you want a hilarious diversion from this very serious topic, go to: www.invention.com/shaw.htm

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