rainbow walking

Which of your 72 virgins would you like to meet first? :Cheeky:

Noggin

This is a great thread.

pob14-- you are cracking me up. Only a D&D person can truly appreciate what you just laid out there.

exactly!

too funny!

I have mused off and on about Rainbow walking's scenario in this thread. I wrote a little parady a few months back about this concept. After the first part it derails into some Star Trek parody but the first part is relevant to topic and I think it turned out kind of funny:


...See, Christians can't stand the idea of a chaotic, tyrant-like, fiendish god who has entered his Earth world creation as an exhibit in some cosmotic science fair contest vying for 1st place.... Picture the charts and graphs, and God explaining his project to the science fair judges:

God: Ah, see this brand of human I just merely manipulated to be inferior to the rest... they have invented some really weird place they call Hell and they all think they are doomed to burn for eternity in this place if they make wrong or immoral choices. They cannot seem to grasp that poor choices create their own degree of self-correcting discomforts.

Judges: Fascinating!

God: Yes, fascinating. I never thought these would buy into such a bizarre and twisted theory. Oddly enough though, and truth be told, the Hell location was invented by this other group of humans I created... the upper echelon prototype "A" type personality. They just poofed it into existence and the inferior brand of humans bought it hook line and sinker!

Judges: Disturbing! How manipulative!

God: Yes, as we see on this pie chart only a few humans relative to the entire population are even capable of dismissing this hell concept.

Judges: And what is this pie section representative of... wait! What? 4% do not even believe in you? You created them!

God: **laughs** yeah, those are the ones that secretly win the prize. Those are the ones who really get it. I tried to make the human with a mind that would think through dogma and logically deduce their natural surroundings for pure reasons. They don't know it, but every single human has this capacity programmed into them. I wanted to see if they could become moral and decent on their own but they keep insisting on subrogating their ability to choose to some higher source. It's as if they are incapable of making a decision on their own. So insecure. I am disturbed that so many of them will only choose to live morally if there is a punishment waiting for them. That reduces them to rats in a maze. Kind of pitiful, actually. See, when I designed this experiment, I was not interesting in seeing how well a human can obey authority. I am interested in the human who, for no other reason except a purely unadulterated desire to be a decent person, chooses to live morally and decently.

Judges: Does it confuse you that so few are willing to do that?

God: Hell yes! I never expected that. The majority of these humans are incapable of thinking for themselves!

Narrator: Turns out that God ends up winning only second place because.... because.... his experiment goes horrifically and disastrously wrong when God sees his homo sapiens running amuk through the streets all chaotic and willy nilly, waxing all literal and pharasaical.

So God decides to send his son down into the experiment to reprogram a few things mano a mano, roll a few heads you see... set a few boundaries with the plebes-- you know, and then something horrific happens! The primates turn restless and form a mob hell bent on killing his son! Oh the horror!

**Scene change**

God is running around his cosmic laboratory frantically trying to get his son out of the experiment... he is pulling levers... desperately pushing buttons... wooshes of steam blowing out of pipes overhead... There are bubbling test tubes percolating over bunson burners on the adjacent counters...

Finally, there sits a dejected and defeated god after realizing he cannot do anything else to salvage the situation... he is looking down into his bubble universe watching --like the Star Trek Spock character-- and he is peering intently into his rectangular spectrometer that allows him to see swatches of futuristic events. A soft, blue light glows into his face. He is standing but is doubled over watching the scenery unfold on Earth. God's hind quarters impatiently switch from side to side**

God: Oh Shit. Oh Shit this is NOT good!

God on his transister wrist watch radio: Son! This is God. Emergency, I repeat, EMERGENCY! Get the hell out of dodge you fool! The primates have gone wacko! I just looked at the future and you are doomed!

Jesus: Wha? But I just faked them all out by raising a guy from the dead! This is working perfectly! Soon all order will be restored! They have me in some court here on trial for stuff and I am about to show them the REAL magic tricks...

God: NOOOOO You IDIOT!! If they take your robe off your magic god powers are useless! I won't be able to pull you out! THE GPS TRANSISTOR LOCATOR DEVICE IS IN THE ROBE!!! TELL ME YOU STILL HAVE THE ROBE ON!!

PAUSE

God: Jesus? ......... Jesus? God to Jesus???? JESUS!!!

**crackly static**

God: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A FEW MOMENTS LATER

Narrator: Finally... the killing ends and jesus is laid into the tomb. Grieving Mary puts her lover's robe at the feet of the corpse and leaves, the stone is put in place to seal the tomb. Miraculously, God locates the GPS transistor radio locator device and as luck would have it, is able to put a tractor beam on it. Only, since the robe is not actually on the corpse, the intergalactic transportation is more clumsy and awkward. The corpse floats around the room and the transporter beam is weakened due to the proximity of the device relative to the corpse. Of course, the corpse can't make it through the walls so the scene changes to Star Trek's Sulu character desperately heaving all the levers back and forth on the computer board in God's locale...

God: Sulu... keep trying... Scotty! We NEED MORE POWER!

Scotty: I'm giving her all she's got God!

God: Not good enough! Find more power!

Scotty: I am tapping into the defense reserves, God... BUT I AM WARNING YOU THIS LEAVES US WIDE OPEN WITH OUR SHIELDS DOWN

**Scotty diverts the rest of the power to the transporter device, an excruciatingly loud humming ensues... God, Sulu and Scotty cover their ears. **

God: Sulu! You IDIOT!! You took your hands off the levers to cover your ears!

Sulu **groveling**: EEK! Sorry Boss!

**Meanwhile scene change back to earth with the corpse of Jesus pitching and lurching rather awkwardly to and fro mid air inside the tomb as Scotty tries to get the body back (of course, unaware of the brutality he is inflicting upon the corpse). With the extra surge in power, the body crumples lamely like a rag doll against the stone door with such force that the stone rolls away knocking the guards down. At this point the apostles are running up the path to see where the body is**

Peter **Observing the floating and now mangled corpse of Jesus**: Jeeezus... I mean, Wow that's messed up!

James: Yeah, his corpse is like... floating away up into space or something

John: Eeeeeww his tongue is sticking waaaay out! Woah! Nobody is going to believe us. Hey! He... HE just POOFED out of sight! Where'd he go?

Peter: Oh Shit... Oh Shit Shit Shit SHIT!!!

**Peter looks wild eyed at the others**

Peter: We better make something up quick!! Otherwise when the guards come to, they will send us away to prison for necrophelia or something!

**scene change to the platform back at God's pad. The corpse of Jesus belches forth clumsily into a disheveled heap onto the transporter platform**

God **Frantically and with a fevered look in his eyes**: Bones! BONES!! do something!

Bones **a little sauced from dinner drinks, has very slurred speech**: Gawdddammit GAWD! I am a... ehhh... *hic ehh... doctor, not a ... ehhh.. magician! *hic.

God: Well, what good are you then??

Bones: Jeezus God... just snap yer ....ehhh.. fingers er somethin'

God **visibly angry now**: Riiiiiiiiiiight. You Numb Skull. Those powers don't work! They are just for show!

**bones passes out, God is left to himself... He glances shiftily at Scotty**

Scotty: Hey boss, don't look at me!

rainbow walking

Hi Noggin,
Over the edge dude...but very funny, nonetheless...:devil:

Now here's the real skinny, if you're interested.

Our God, let's call him RSB, (for Rainbow's Supreme Being...trademark ala HRG), inhabits a "Mirrorverse" to this one. In fact this one was created to generate constituents to assist RSB in the resolution of a paradoxical dilemma that has emerged in his mirrorverse hereinafter called Heaven.

In RSB's Heaven things work much differently than they do here. For instance, in our universe our continued existence is subject to our reaction to stimuli that appears to us to be nothing more than a series of inter-connected random events that, looking back in retrospect, we can only scratch our heads and say, "shit happens like this to me all the time and I don't know why." Whereas in Heaven, in an effort to minimize the shitty aspect of random events, RSB devised a parallelogram of forward looking internal senses for the inhabitants such that the randomness along with the shittyness can be filtered out by projecting ones sense perceptions far in advance before making a decision to move...much like a complicated 3D chess game...only every inhabitant is clairvoyently connected to every other inhabitant to such a degree as to make decision making an excruciatingly long process that could take centuries in our time frame for one inhabitant to make even one choice. Thus, in Heaven, a full one third of the inhabitants have dropped off into a comatose state and the lethargy and boredom was threatening to over-take the remaining inhabitants unless RSB could find a way to inject some excitement into their eternal existence.

So we come to the mechanisms of this universe, all being mysteriously sustained by RSB from Heaven. The solution to the "hell" that has become of Heaven is very brilliant, as you'll no doubt agree when I am finished with this theocracy.

RSB has very intelligently guided the emergence of sentient beings who evolved into autonomous creatures without the special clairvovent qualities inherent in the inhabitants of Heaven. This provided RSB some definite advantages to overcoming the Paradoxes that have besieged Heaven for such a long time. Each autonomous sentient creature/person in this universe not only exists alone in his own thought processes but must experience the reality of this universe second hand through a set of five senses that act as receptors of the stimuli he/she must constantly adjust to his/her cognitive faculties and make often split second decisions to continue his/her survival.

Now, most of this is old news to us, but here's the ingenuity in the connection between us and them. To forestall any further erosion of Heaven RSB has designed us in such a way that the inhabitants of Heaven can live vicariously through us and escape the hell of boredom in heaven. Since any decisions we make have no effect on Heaven, then any decisions we believe we make are actually the decision making processes of the inhabitants of heaven living through us vicariously, that provide them the stimulus to rescue them from an eternal coma without any danger to their otherwise Heavenly abode.

Are you with me so far? But it doesn't end there. RSB, in his majestic omniscience, has devised a contest between these inhabitants just to liven things up even more. The challenge is to create and sustain a healthy flock of free thinking critical atheists who remain dedicated to the pursuit of truth in spite of great odds.

The challenge has been set up where the inhabitants of heaven choose sides, divy up the humans into flocks/groups/tribes/communities/countries, and try to steal as many mindsets from one another as possible throughout man's history. The advocates of reason against the advocates of faith.

The rules sort of evolved during the challenge. At first these inhabitants of Heaven were allowed to personally appear on earth at times they felt were crucial to securing the most converts, but as time went on, this proved to be irresponsible and weighted the challenge against the atheist so RSB made it so that their manipulation and vicarious experiences could only be had or made emotionally.

At some point in our time RSB will declare a temporary set of winners among the inhabitants of Heaven who will get to come to earth and live among their flocks for awhile, but then the other side will have one more opportunity to take home the prize before the challenge is officially concluded.

In order to make the challenge stimulating to the inhabitants of Heaven the challenge will begin anew, only the losers among the inhabitants of Heaven will take the place of the humans on earth and the winners flock will replace the losers in Heaven and the challenge will continue.

Eventually, over a very long period of time, there will emerge winners of extreme brilliance who will then get to tackle the problems in Heaven itself and unite both universes into one cohesive multi-verse.

Chris Weimer

Well...where's the evidence?

rainbow walking

In a safety deposit box in Zurich.

Carin Nel

Fine. Its just amazing to me that you believe your evidence and then take me out when I believe my evidence . What is this forum about. Ripping apart the ne's you disagree with? I think the "conversation" Noggin came up with is rude, but what the heck....he's got his supporters and I'm an intruder, I'll can handle it.
There are more scientific proof that Jesus Christ of Nasareth existed than that Napoleon Boneparte existed, but so what? You have made up your mind. Never mind that Jesus said the New Testament is now for us and we don't live according to the rules of the Old dispensation anymore, but so what?
2 Tim. 2 : 14," Remind them of these things, changing them before the Lord not to strive about words to no profit, to the ruin of the hearers."
Verse 23, "But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. (23) and a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps grant them repentance, so that they may know the Truth (26) and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having taken captive by him to do his will."

I love you all
Good bye
Carin Nel

notasheep

Carin- Bye!

Noggin- Thanks. I love your little drama, but agree with you that it would be better without the trekkie flavor. (although it does add a few laughs)

Rainbow- Dang! You've obviously put more thought into your theology than I have. Might have to steal a few aspects, if that's all right with you. At least I can still claim that Super-God created RSB. I'm not sure why he would, though, since they seem to have the same objective. Rational, moral individuals. I'm thinking of rewarding them with their own universe to play with.

Gawen

No, it's about discussing the evidence. And ripping apart unfounded assertions.

So saying good bye is your way of handling things? Sorry to hear it.


Then why is faith needed? No one needs faith to believe N.B. existed.

Not quite. You have made up your mind in the false belief that Mosaic Law is no longer needed.

Are you, Carin Nell, a servant of the Lord when you say goodbye? The credibility of every Christian that has left these forums in a huff suffers because they haven't fulfilled these two verses from their very own owners manual.
You know the saying, "If you can't stand the heat...'? Apparently Jesus is heat sensitive as well as He is not able to impart the intestinal fortitude, or rather, asbestos protective clothing to His very own believers needed to "hang with the heathens".

Such a sad little God.

Chris Weimer

This is false for many reasons. 1) There's no scientific "proof" for either. Proof is for mathematics. But I suppose the lay doesn't know any better. For clarity's sake, let's use evidence. What evidence do you have to support this assertion? As one who does think that there was an historical Jesus, and have argued endlessly for such an idea here, my own coming up with the sources for an historical Jesus are rather limited, and any removed stone could cause the entire argument to collapse. Jesus is not documented well at all. Napoleon, on the other hand... Well, I think you need to do some more research. We have first hand accounts of Napoleon - we only have second and third hand accounts for Jesus.

And now back to your regular IIDB viewing.

Noggin

Brilliant! And who is to say this is not the plan? There are hundreds if not an infinite amount of scenarios that could be going on, most of which could be more along the lines of pob14's godless D&D naked elf's rectal muscles trying to open doorknobs (...eh.. was that a different thread? I can't keep it straight).

Anyhow. My point is that god exists because people like Carin Nel dogmatically say it is so without any evidence. Any ridiculous scenario (my Star Trek parody included) can be in the running for a possibility... because I also say so. That was part of the reason I included my Star Trek parody for Carin Nel to read. I was hoping he would come out and tell me how ridiculous my story was. I was going to blast away...

When Carin Nel is challenged, he tucks tail in a fit of a snit and leaves.

Thanks for the RSB mental pathway. I enjoyed it!

And Carin Nel, do enjoy singing praises to your invention, after awhile your fantasy does sort of start to feel real doesn't he/she/it?

Noggin