ashibaka

The banana - the atheist's nightmare.
http://quo.cc/atheist.htm

This is an actual tract that someone found. (I'm absolutely rolling on the floor...) The original, in Chick tract size, is at SomethingAwful.

orpheus last chant

NVM.

drees

Am I a bad person - seems I have broken every single commandment except the murder one...

Zadok001

"Am I a bad person - seems I have broken every single commandment except the murder one..."

The guy says hatred counts. I've broken 'em all.

Occams_Razor

Ugg. It never ceases to amaze.

I just sent the site's author an email, text follows:

I'm sure other atheists have pointed out the problems with your arguments and have not changed your mind, so I won�t bother.

But I would like to point out to you something that you do (like many of your brethren) which you cannot refute, and, in my opinion, actually weakens your arguments because it shows bad faith--using selective quotes from people in support of your position, out of context, that would be absolutely opposed to your position and would be rolling over in their graves if they were aware.

Here are some other things these same great men said:

Einstein:

"It was, of course, a lie what you read about my religious convictions, a lie which is being systematically repeated. I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly. If something is in me which can be called religious then it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal it."

Darwin:

"When I view all beings not as special creations, but as the lineal descendants of some few beings which lived long before the first bed of the Cambrian system was deposited, they seem to me to become ennobled."

�I cannot persuade myself that a beneficent and omnipotent God would have designedly created the Icheumonidae with the express intention of their feeding within the living bodies of caterpillars."

"For my own part I would as soon be descended from that heroic little monkey, who braved his dreaded enemy in order to save the life of his keeper; or from that old baboon, who, descending from the mountains, carried away in triumph his young comrade from a crowd of astonished dogs -- as from a savage who delights to torture his enemies, offers up bloody sacrifices, practices infanticide without remorse, treats his wives like slaves, knows no decency, and is haunted by the grossest superstitions."

"It has often and confidently been asserted, that man's origin can never be known: but ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, and not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science."

"It appears to me (whether rightly or wrongly) that direct arguments against christianity and theism produce hardly any effect on the public; and freedom of thought is best promoted by the gradual illumination of men's minds which follows from the advance of science."

Shake

OMIPU! Some asshat posted this thing at the MSN Group Pagans, Atheists, Christians, More, on which I'm a very infrequent poster. (Actually, I just posted this morning on a thread there about the Mass. gay marriage decision) I think that one was also called Atheist Test. It got ripped to shreds there. I don't think it deserves the bandwidth here. Non-sequiturs and strawmen. Blech!

MagicBrowser

Bull**** question

Yes, as a matter of fact I have

Huh? How does he figure that?

I know for a fact and I can prove it to you quite easily that primes are infinite, and yet I don't know every prime, nor do I know everything about primes.

Stupid test

Harumi

I didn't get that test. It was stupid, so I stopped reading.

Silly Christians and their strawmen.

Wild_T

Is this about a banana, or a part of some kind of anatomy....


Is shaped for human hand

As all us guys find out around age 12 or so...

Has non-slip surface

Unless hand lotion is applied.

Has outward indicators of inward content:

[Beavis] Boiyoiyoiyoiyoing! [/Beavis]

Green-too early,

Wrong. If it's green, it's usually too late. You should have seen a doctor when your pee started burning.

Yellow-just right,

Well, I guess it's true -- once you go asian, you never go caucasian.

Black-too late.

Too late for any white guys. Once you go black, you never go back.

Has a tab for removal of wrapper

So that's what the reservoir tip is for!

Is perforated on wrapper

Or so the Catholic Church tells you.

Bio-degradable wrapper

Sure, latex biodegrades, I guess... Eventually....

Is shaped for human mouth

*snerk*

Has a point at top for ease of entry

I'll leave this one up to you to comment on...

Is pleasing to taste buds

I guess it's a matter of preference, really...

Is curved towards the face to make eating process easy

Once again, I think this one stands for itself.



There we have it, folks. Eternal was right when he said his penis proved the existance of Gawd! I've been converted! Hallelujah!




Or not.

ELECTROGOD

Ya, shaped to fit every orifice and if you aren't using them for that then you are sinning against "god" ("god" is so clever!)
And he didn't even think that bananas would be great for monkeys and other creatures, but it works great for them too.