Vinnie

Jesus had to exist to have used cannabis! That doesn't present any problems to me as I think we can blame mythicists for Jesus' cannabis addiction!

Mythicism in 20 A.D. to 33 A.D.

Yes, mythicists go back to the first century where they were constantly arguing with Jesus about whether or not he existed. Nothing he could do would prove his existence to them. They asserted and reasserted that he did not exist.

One guy who was a real "Freke" traveled to Australia and came back and told Jesus triumphantly "No one has ever heard of you in Australia. Ergo, you do not exist."

Many of Jesus friends (maybe even 500 of them!) testified that this man was in fact Jesus of Nazareth to them but the mythicists accused the men of fabrication and mass hallucination. They were stubborn and unrelenting and would not give up there hyper skepticism.

Men and women came claiming to be Jesus' family but the mythicists argued that their testimony was invalid unless backed by a scientifically controlled and carefully conducted DNA testing.

Jesus invited the mythicists over to his house one night for supper and when he was done entertaining them he tried one last time to prove his existence to them. But not even the wine they drank loosened them from their hyper-skepticism. Led by their leader 'Doherticus ben Earl' they dogmatically asserted that unless he could show them a valid driver's license with his picture on it they would not accept his existence.

Since he had no clue what a driver's license was he was silenced and his opponents assumed victory and taunted him with drunken slurs like "Na na na na na. You don't exist. Na na na na na."

Jesus broke down and was found sweating drops of blood in his garden that night. He found a plant Judas had been secretly growing in there and well, he used it and got high. He quickly forgot about the babbling mythicists on his way to Stop N Shop to get Doritos as the munchies tookover.

Mythicism in 34 A.D. to 70 A.D.

Many who who knew Jesus of Nazareth and followed him during his lifetime believed he was an actual person and they found him to be a great teacher and they continued to follow him after his death and carried on his message.

But the mythicists kept arguing against his existence. They now asserted that the Christians invented the story and they accused them of being Christians! "Because you are followers of this man you are clearly biased and nothing that you say he said or did can be considered as evidence. What could a follower of Jesus tell us about Jesus?" they retorted.

One day during this time period some Gentile converts interpreted something they heard attributed to Jesus to mean that shellfish and pork were now clean. But this only fueled the debate as popular mythicist's 'Petros ben Gandy' used this material to argue against the historicity of Jesus' existence. He stated, "I lived next door to Jesus and ate with him often. He never declared shellfish and pork clean. You or whoever you heard this from are clearly making this material up just as you make up these claims that Jesus was a real person. He could never provide us with a valid picture I.D. and I doubt you can do any better!"

Jesus' brother James become quite popular and continued to argue that his brother was a real person during this time period but he could never provide the mythicists with their required evidence of a DNA test as he knew not what a DNA test was.

Mythicism from 71 to 95 A.D.

Jesus' original followers were all dead and the mythicists ran rampant during this time period. Anything anyone said about Jesus was considered hearsay because no one was actually there to witness it. The mythicist's mythicist-children now demanded primary-contemporary source data. Anything less than that would not even be considered!

One Christian brought forth some unnamed documents that contained a lot of material on Jesus. He said these documents should constitute evidence for the historicity of Jesus of Nazareth. Much material inside them was embarrassing and there wasn't really any valid reason to think that all stuff was woven from whole cloth (let along the really embarrasing stuff like Baptism by JBap) but the mythicists were not swayed. At first they weren't sure how to treat them and they argued that no one ever heard of these documents and they have no name on them so they must not exist. Christians then decided to name them and the mythicists changed their argument. Many of them now speculated that these documents were late second century documents that wouldn't be written for another 100 plus years. This position became central to the mythicist case. It was canonical you could say. "Do you really expect us mythicists in the year 83 A.D. to accept these 2nd century documents that won't even be written for about another 100 years as evidence? What do you take us for? Idiots?" That quickly became their standard response.

Mythicism from 96 A.D. to 2003 A.D.

Nothing has changed and Jesus is now puff-puff-passing up in heaven at the sight of this nonsense.

Vinnie

Toto

Vinnie - what were you smoking when you wrote that?

Baidarka

All praises be unto Haile Selassie for Life without end.

From the begining of time, this ancient tree has healed and ruled nations, and spiritual defeated evil,
sip this sip of knowledge, and wise up.

Vinnie

If only I could remember

krazytamak

Does anyone know why the Jews had banned the holy oil- the cannabis-based oil that Jesus used for healings? What passage talks about that? It would be interesting to find out.

Kosh

Yuppa. As I've said before, it certainly goes a long way to explaining the book of Revelation! Also explains the need for that last BIG supper...

Yellum Notnef

Pot doesn`t get you that high so I don`t think it explains anythng to do with the bible.
Maybe mushrooms or some other drugs had something to do with all that ancient nonsense,but pot is just not strong enough to bring about belief in miracles or the book of Revelation.

livius drusus

I don't know, Fenton. I've thought some pretty fucked up things under the influence of super-kind hydro. One of those nights I built an entire religion, complete with doctrine and ceremonies, around Robocop. Can't remember it, of course, but if I had had a bunch of people running around recording my babbling, Our Lord and Savior Murphy would have given Jebus a run for his money.

Jeremy Pallant

I'd buy that for a dollar!

Iasion

Greetings all,

The issue of drugs in religion comes up occasionally - a new book the Apples of Apollo is the most recent.

I note these very strange comments in Ignatius -


Ignatius wrote at length of the flesh of Christ, in rather unusual ways :

Phil.4 : "Take ye heed, then, to have but one Eucharist. For there is one flesh of our Lord Jesus Christ , and one cup to [show forth] the unity of His blood; one altar"


He talks about there being only 'one flesh of Lord Jesus Christ', perhaps suggesting there are other fleshes. This statement about the 'Gospel as the flesh of Christ' is most unusual :

Phil.5 : "...while I flee to the Gospel as to the flesh of Jesus , and to the apostles as to the presbytery of the Church"


He refers oddly to Jesus Christ as 'Lord of the flesh'

Poly.5 : "..to the honour of Him who is Lord of the flesh ,"


Ignatius' talks about his desire for the 'flesh of Jesus Christ', the bread of life :

Rom.7 : "I desire the bread of God, the heavenly bread, the bread of life, which is the flesh of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who became afterwards of the seed of David and Abraham; and I desire the drink of God, namely His blood, which is incorruptible love and eternal life. "


Ignatius' emphasis on the 'bread' which is the 'flesh' of Jesus Christ continues :

Smyr.6 : "They abstain from the Eucharist and from prayer, because they confess not the Eucharist to be the flesh of our Saviour Jesus Christ, which suffered for our sins, and which the Father, of His goodness, raised up again. Those, therefore, who speak against this gift of God, incur death in the midst of their disputes. "


Eph. 20 : "...so that you give ear to the bishop and to the presbytery with an undivided mind, breaking one Bread, which is the medicine of immortality, the antidote against death, enabling us to live forever in Jesus Christ."


These allusions may be about drugs :

Tral.6 : "I ... entreat you that ye use Christian nourishment only, and abstain from herbage of a different kind; I mean heresy. For those mix up Jesus Christ with their own poison, speaking things which are unworthy of credit, like those who administer a deadly drug in sweet wine, which he who is ignorant of does greedily take, with a fatal pleasure leading to his own death. "


He specifically entreats the Trallians to use only 'Christian nourishment', and further warns against 'herbage' of other kinds, and he calls these 'heresy' He then criticies the heretics who 'mix up Jesus Christ with their own poison', like those who give a deadly 'drug ' in wine. I think Allegro's "The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross" and Heinrich's Strange Fruit were on the right track - here Ignatius does seem to be refering to mystic experience brought about by a drug - perhaps the amanita muscaria.


Of course , these writings are very suspect, but someone wrote them in the 2nd century.


Quentin