ex-xian

The recent threads about the music group TATU here and here have reminded me of a question I've thought about in the past.

The girls in the band, as everyone acknowledges, are not truly lesbians. They've been seen with boyfriends and were quoted as saying that they liked boys. Nevertheless, in their videos and live appearances, they grope one another and passionately make out. I am personally heteosexual and the thought of kissing another not only doesn't appeal to me, it is rather unpleasant thought, to say the least. Friends who are gay have told me that they feel the same way, only toward the opposite sex, obviously. But these girls claim to be straight, but act gay in their act. Does this make them bisexual?

I've read about studies that claim that sexuality is strictly genetic, and a person has absolutely no choice in the matter. Everyone has heard of the christian organizations that claim to turn homosexuals straight, implying that sexuality is a totally choice.
Also, there have been studies that claim to show that sexuality is a totally learned behavior.

So which of these is right? Specifically, anyone who is gay, how would you respond? Is sexuality an either/or proposition, or can ones sexuality be "measured" on a continuum? Perhaps some people are more straight or more gay than others? Maybe no one can be classified as straight or gay, but only lesser or more degrees of both.

Tom Sawyer

I think these two girls are straight. The whole lesbian thing is just an act they put on for the show.

Just like if a guy kisses another guy in a play, it doesn't mean he has homosexual leanings and just because these two put on a lesbo show for money doesn't mean they're like that in real life. I don't know enough about the girls to say for sure, but if they say they're only into boys, I'm inclined to believe them until I see some evidence to the contrary.

ju'iblex

i actually did a sexuality poll in Misc to have a look at the spectrum of sexuality like you described, and i found it fascinating really. here you go

just that, base on peoples responses, no matter what their social conditioning may have been resulted in a wonderful curve. whether its legitimate to use that as evidence for sexuality being a fluid thing, im not entirely sure, but it sure looks that way.

Speaking as a lesbian <not *for* lesbian, but as a lesbian indicating my already widely-known sexuality>, i can tell you without a doubt in my body that sexuality is not changable. You may have a differing amount of attraction to males and females relative to someone else, and in that regards sexuality is fluid, however, it is IMHO impossible to change that.

I went for 8 months trying to change my sexuality, i really dont need the shit that comes along with it, i went in gay and came out gay and just a little more fucked up. Worst period of my entire life. No amount of willpower could change it, and goddamn, was there a fuckload of willpower.

As for the TaTu girls, theyre an image, not real people. If kissing each other doesnt repulse them like i've heard other people say it does, then perhaps they are bisexual, but any media surrounding that makes anything they do for their image questionable.

Bree

'blex: :notworthy

I am physically capable of kissing a male. I am also physically capable of participating in sexual intercourse with a male. This, however, does not mean that I will enjoy either of the two acts, or find myself sexually aroused in that situation.

christ-on-a-stick

Since it's not possible to *know* for sure whether they're actually enjoying themselves or not, I see 2 possibilities:

1. They're doing "gay for pay". Working the audience.
2. They're bisexual.

ex-xian

I think I agree with you that they're probably not really lesbians, but if they really enjoy kissing each other as much as it seems, they're not strictly straight either, are they?

It'd be interesting to know if and how those people's sexuality changed over their lives. Did you always know that you were lesbian, or was there a time when you attracted to men, even mildly.

I'm sorry you had to endure that. Was it as a result of religious type pressure? Whenever I hear these stories, I think of the movie But I'm a Cheerleader. I realize the movie was a satire, but I imagine it was more accurate than the "converters" would like to admit.

Lesbianism has become an in vogue thing to do right now, as evidenced by Tatu. More and more girls are experimenting with bisexuality. Do you think that lesbians find this a good thing, as in perhaps more girls will find their true sexual identities, or that it causes people at large to think that lesbians all are into threesomes and want men to watch?

christ-on-a-stick

You've just touched on something I've been wanting to incorporate into a new thread for some time and haven't gotten around to it...

I agree that it does seem that "girl-girl" sexuality has become somewhat "trendy" as of late.

As a bisexual female, I am sometimes not sure how to view this... I have experience some contempt from lesbians who have basically accused me of "playing games" and not being genuine in my sexuality.

I think that the above (reaction of some lesbians) may be in part to the current "popularization" of girl-girl experimentation and exploitation of such by the popular media, which may well lead to the types of stereotypes you mentioned.

Hmmmm... many thoughts... I may have to start composing that thread.

ju'iblex

i would have considered myself a-sexual if you had asked me at the time. fact is, there are very very few males that i have ever felt any physical attraction to, im not saying its impossible, im saying that he would have to be the most wonderful person in the world for me to get over it

call that mild if you will, i personally in that poll put the +90% option, i simply dont believe in absolutes.

no religious pressure, both parents are agnostic, but just bigots to put it as tactfully as possible. I would have no idea about the movie, cheerleading, even satires, is well beyond my limits
i cant speak for a group, only myself. But, although on one hand you do in fact have a form of social acceptance for such things as exposure to it increases <i have found the opposite, but nonetheless>, you also have a false image about what sexuality is, and how people supposedly act. The images of the dyke vs. the porno lesbian for example. gotta love that dichotomy. So, thats actually a really difficult judgement to make, whilst i understand that exposure and acceptance is a good thing, what they are portraying is *not* what its all about. So i would have to say generally bad. But im not an absolutist.

Its 6:30am, i really shouldnt write posts that require thought.

ex-xian

You would enjoy the movie, I think. It doesn't satire cheerleading, but the people that try to convert homosexuals. It's about a cheerleader who displays lesbian tendencies and her parents send you a conversion camp. It's kind of a dark comedy and displays gays in a positive light w/o being preachy.

ju'iblex

ah, ok, i have heard of it. i might get it out if my legs could be bothered carrying me to the video rental place.