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Old 07-05-2003, 09:01 PM   #41
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Along the lines of what agnawstick said....
At a job I had a couple of years ago, this dude who was the supplies manager was constantly harping on the LORD. He was probably 50ish, and you could tell he had lived a messed up life before he got the job.

Turns out he was a massive gambler,
"lived" in the casinos in Vegas, I didn't ask for more info. Well, Jesus turned his life around. Good for him, It wouldn't bug me at all if he weren't always witnessing to me, making me feel guilty for being a heathen, and complaining of his persecution by non-believers.

I wanted to say, "well, you know what? I WASN'T a massive gambler who "lived" in the casinos in Vegas. Sorry but I can't relate to that. The main thing in my past that is a problem is my religious upbringing which has stifled my personal growth."

I've been all over the place with my beliefs over the years, but it seems some people go from one extreme to the other. From a hardcore gambler to a hyper-evalengelical christian. And these are the people who are telling you how you should live your life, when it seems they have a had a more difficult time making their own decisions than you have.

There was a point in there somewhere...
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Old 07-05-2003, 09:49 PM   #42
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I hate the hicks on Yahoo Chat that think they're so smart for coming up with catch phrases like

"God answers knee-mail!"

"Jesus: It's Hell without Him!"

But the worst experience I ever had was at a Christian day camp when I was 9 years old.

Me> But I thought nobody was perfect.

Counselor> Jesus was perfect, hun.

Me> But nobody's perfect.

Counselor> Those Jews got you deluded powerful tight!
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Old 07-05-2003, 10:56 PM   #43
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When someone starts going on and on about how bad their life was without Jesus, my reply is usually " Well I guess you need Jesus to help fix your problems, but since I don't have those problems, I guess I don't need the LAWD."
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Old 07-06-2003, 06:08 AM   #44
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My grandmother likes to use the "You'll think differently when you're MY age" line.
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Old 07-06-2003, 11:29 AM   #45
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Actually, I've got a reply for this one...

Quote:
"If you don't believe in god, you probably think you're descended from monkeys then?"
Hon, I worked customer service for eight years, I KNOW we come from the same origins as monkeys!



...except monkeys are usually much more polite...

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Old 07-06-2003, 01:03 PM   #46
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Some time ago I used to discuss with (or - more properly said - I used to annoy) Jehovah's Witnesses. Their favourite argument is 2 Timothy 2:16 - "All scripture is inspired by God."

Yes, right. The Bible is correct because it says so.


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Old 07-06-2003, 01:48 PM   #47
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Has anyone tried turning that descended-from-monkeys bit around?

Like saying that if god made us, he must have made us from monkeys, because that's what we look like.
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Old 07-06-2003, 02:46 PM   #48
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Quote:
Originally posted by lpetrich
Has anyone tried turning that descended-from-monkeys bit around?

Like saying that if god made us, he must have made us from monkeys, because that's what we look like.
That's brilliant! I'll have to remember that.
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Old 07-06-2003, 03:47 PM   #49
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"have you found Jesus?"

No, asshole, where did you leave him?

Why, are you stalking him or something?

What is this? Hide-god-and-seek?

Yes, but he got a restraining order.

No, but you might want you check with the archeologists working in Israel. You never know what they'll dig up next.

et cetera
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Old 07-06-2003, 05:31 PM   #50
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Default My coworker: "How can you not believe in god?"

Me: "I was brainwashed by communist propaganda in Soviet Union."

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