stumble69

Is there such a thing as a non religious moral code? I mean, without the Bad things/hell punishment, or good things/heaven reward, why should anyone be motivated to do anything nice? I want to teach my children to be "good" kids, and not to poke out others eyes, steal etc. My upbringing was based on christian morales. But I no longer believe Religion and the notion of a supreme being has anything to do with the real world. I need to teach my kids to be motivated to do the right thing, without preaching BS to them in the process. Can anyone suggest anything that may help?
Father Enigma

vixstile

I dont do thing like rape,steal,murder,and cause general mayhem because these things make me feel bad ,not because they are wrong or immoral in the theistic sence

stumble69

Thanks Vix,
I know about feeling bad and guilty about doing things that are wrong, but I want to know how to go about teaching my children how to do the same. Do you have any suggestions on this?
stumble69

vixstile

I don't know anything about children,or adults. All i can tell you about is myself

Mageth

Teach them the same as a religious person would to, just leave out the eternal punishment and reward stuff. There are plenty of "rewards" and "punishments" meted out here on earth for "good" and "bad" moral behavior.

You might start out with a good, basic, universal moral - the golden rule - "Treat your fellow humans as you yourself would wish to be treated." I don't want someone stealing my stuff, so I don't steal other people's stuff. Another good, and related, basic ethic is to always attempt to minimize the harm/hurt any of your actions may cause. Yet another is personal responsibility - one is always responsible for one's own actions (can't blame a god or a devil).

My 2 cents worth...

Vorkosigan

As an atheist I don't have any problem with teaching my kids good moral behavior. Since they are six and seven, I explain when possible, and simply tell them at all others. Best of all, I don't have to lie to them or brainwash them that some Fairy Sky Daddy will zap them if they aren't good.

Michael

Jamie_L

At early ages, children don't give a rat's patootey about God, heaven, or hell. They accept the morality you teach them because you say it's right. If you instill that moral foundation early, there is no need for a reason why. Later, as the kids get older, they may question the reasoning behind that morality. I think it's satisfactory at that point to use golden-rule-type reasoning.

I was raised unchurched, though not exactly atheist. I was never taught that I should do the right thing because of God or some divine reward or punishment. I was just taught what was right and what was wrong. It has stayed with me even after completely abandoning religion.

Lastly, I think God is a bad way to teach morality. If you give God as the only reason to do good things, what happens if your kids decide they don't care about God anymore?

Example: From a conversation between 12-year-olds I overheard at a playground -
"I would get pregnant now, because I want a baby. But I can't because of my religion." Not exactly a moral issue, but you get the idea. Is that REALLY the thought process you want your kids to have?

Example 2: My cousin was cheating at cards. My grandmother called him on it, and told him that even if no one caught him, God knew. His response: "Yeah, but God can't tell anybody."

Jamie

dangin

There is "social primate behavior", one conforms to the "rules" of their primate troop in order to maintain one's ability to draw benefit from said group. As primates we are stronger in groups than we are as individuals. As individuals it is in our interest to maintain our connection to the group. Antisocial behavior causes individuals to lose their access to the benefits of the group.

This is the the only moral code necessary. Unfortunately, it requires one to be smart enough to figure it out.

vixstile

There are books you can buy on teaching children morality that don't have anything to do with theistic belief. I recently watched an interview with authors Michael Riera and Joseph Di Prisco on there book "Right From Wrong",they said some interesting things on how to teach integrity to children, and there was no mention of theistic beliefs.

[ April 11, 2002: Message edited by: vixstile ]</p>

free12thinker

I have found that the best way to teach my daughter right from wrong is to let her figure things out. I've never had to get too specific like "no stealing" or "no hitting". This isn't to say we shouldn't offer any guidance, it simply means that infants and kids have the same sensors that we do, so that which automatically sends wavelengths to our brains, also does the same for them. It's all incorporated into kindness, which I also believe is already tucked into their thought process anyway. Think about the pleasant reactions and subsequent replies infants get and give from a smile, without even comprehending the logic between good and bad. They already know what to react to in a positive way and what to react to in a negative way. I call it the "subconscious joy-pain clause". If you spank them, or they bump their heads, they cry. They also automatically attribute that to being a bad thing, because it sparked a negative emotion. Will they ever hit someone? Probably? Will they know it's wrong? Definitely! We don't need to tell them it's bad. I have a 3-year old niece who told me she saw a plane hit the twin towers and she said it was sad. No one told her it was sad, and she plays with trucks and planes all the time, throwing them around, you know. But she still incorporated a difference. Perhaps it was the crash (loud noise). These are little things they start equating other things with.

To me, it's our own feelings (physically and emotionally) that really set the wheels of right-wrong in motion. That's why there are so many universal wrongs, those things which everyone can agree are wrong (murder, rape, theft, taking advantage of someone etc....)