Howard

I don’t think any man is good enough to marry my daughter – it has nothing to do with skin color. But marriages are difficult enough to maintain without throwing racial differences into the mix. It’s just asking for trouble. Sometimes it comes down to simple practicality, not high-minded principles.

Quote:

It's not a matter of colour-blindness. Of course you recognise a person's colour but you don't judge them by it. Why should a man's skin colour have any bearing on his suitability to join your family???

Maybe it shouldn’t but it does. And when I pose this question to my black acquaintances they say pretty much the same thing. They would prefer that their children marry someone of their own race. It’s tribalism not racism.

cjr1851

Lucky girl!

Wow! I'm interested to hear how this conversation goes. Is it like ..

Howard: I'd rather someone of your particular skin colour didn't marry my daughter, after all it'd only be asking for trouble!

Black acquaintance: I couldn't agree more old chap we should all stick to our own kind.

Howard: So, did you see the game last night? ... etc

(me again) Perhaps we shall have to agree to differ on this subject.

Mountainbike Racer

Howard,
But isn't what you are doing is discriminating based on skin color? How far does that discrimination have to go before it is racism. Even if I don't think I am better than another race, if I discriminate based on race, the effect is the same.

It sounds to me like you are trying to seperate discrimination based on race from racism. That in some cases, discrimination is just fine as long as you don't think you are better than the person you are discriminating against. I don't think the victims of discrimination care about that distinction at all. To them discrimination is the same regardless of the prejudices that the discriminator has.

But, if this were true, racism in its worst form would be mistaken for the lesser evil of tribalism. Thus perpetuating a perception of racism.

Racial discrimination has always been a part of the human psyche. It just seems to me that the politically correct free world has chosen to chastise anyone that does it.

Howard

Uh… if you want to go the smartass route I’ll be more than happy to oblige. Your recent attempt was pretty lame.

However, someone other than me brought up the topic came up at a recent get-together. We had a round-the-table poll and pretty much everyone said if they had the choice they’d rather their children didn’t marry out of their own race, but then they felt the same way about their religion. The general feeling was that mixed marriages added major complications and problems, in addition to the normal ones.

Obviously we disagree, but I don't try to belittle and ridicule your position. I don't appreciate your doing so to mine.

Howard

MR,
Of course I’m discriminating, we do so all the time. But I think it’s rational discrimination in that marrying someone of a different race puts a tremendous burden on a marriage and on family relationships. Ask people who are in that position if you don’t believe me.

However, if I said I couldn’t be friends with or hire black people because of their skin color, that would be irrational discrimination, which is flat out racism.

cjr1851

Okay, Point taken. I was smiling in a friendly way when I wrote it but, of course, you didn't know that. I apologise.

As I said before, let's agree to disagree.

Howard

OK, no problem.