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Old 01-30-2003, 01:42 AM   #41
Ut
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Quote:
Originally posted by Gurdur

BTW, FYI, prostition is legalized to a degree and controlled in much of Western Europe.
When I arrived in Switzerland, I was quite surprised to find pages and pages in newspapers which were full of classified ads by prostitutes.
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Old 01-30-2003, 01:45 AM   #42
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Originally posted by Odemus
My only point was that selling your body sexually is prostitution any way you slice it.
My only point is that killing an animal is murder any way you slice it.

Ah! The wonders of giving words novel definitions irrespectively of common usage
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Old 01-30-2003, 10:46 AM   #43
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Originally posted by Ut
Ah! The wonders of giving words novel definitions irrespectively of common usage
I was once offered $500 dollars to do a sex scene in the back of a van. There I was leaving a 7-11 and some poor girl comes up and propositions me.

How would the common usage of the word "prostitution" be innapropriate to describe my actions had I accepted the offer?

Quote:
Originally posted by christ-on-a-stick
since it doesn't sound like you are interested in any type of discussion I suppose it doesn't really matter
What kind of discussion are you interested in? How strongly do you feel the need to legitimize yourself? Are you dying for me to make a moral argument against pornography? Shall I speak of the addictive grip it holds on millions, or the devastation it has caused the many lives of those in the industry and the marriages/relationships it has ruined? Should I focus on how it degrades women by objectifying them and treating them like hunks of flesh good for nothing more than sexual gratification? I mean you have bona fide experience in the industry so I'm sure you're quite capable of destroying all these "myths" right?

Then again what do I know? I'm still on my first marriage of 7 years, enjoying the wonders of sexual intimacy without the benefit of pornography.
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Old 01-30-2003, 11:21 AM   #44
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Well hello again Odemus.
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How strongly do you feel the need to legitimize yourself?
Geez, I don't know, how strongly do you feel the need to be an authority on what I think/feel/need?

In any case, you are still being somewhat obtuse - what exactly do you mean by "legitimize"? How exactly do you see me (or a streetwalker on Hollywood Blvd., for that matter) as "illegitimate"? In relation to what? Some clarification would be appreciated.
Quote:
Then again what do I know? I'm still on my first marriage of 7 years, enjoying the wonders of sexual intimacy without the benefit of pornography.
That's great for you, congratulations. But to answer your question here - well why don't you tell me? What DO you know? You seem to be claiming some kind of knowledge by these statements
Quote:
Shall I speak of the addictive grip it holds on millions, or the devastation it has caused the many lives of those in the industry and the marriages/relationships it has ruined? Should I focus on how it degrades women by objectifying them and treating them like hunks of flesh good for nothing more than sexual gratification?
- so please, do go ahead and speak of these things. In case you missed it, this is the Internet Infidels Discussion Board, so I'm not sure how my interest in having a discourse with others on their opinions and points of view equates to "dying for you" to make an argument.

Lastly, to address your 7-11 scenario, I'm sorry to be flippant, but I find the comparison laughable at best.

Somehow I doubt that the girl in question asked you if you would be interested in performing in a film, took your driver's license, social security number and personal information and had you fill out a 1099 and a comprehensive model release, did an HIV-test on the spot and presented you with original dated HIV tests for your partner(s) dated within 30 days, and then proceeded to escort you to the van for the scene (which was parked in a location zoned and permitted for commercial use).

If you can't see the difference... I'm really not sure how to explain it any further.

Look forward to anything further you may like to contribute to this discussion.
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Old 01-30-2003, 11:50 AM   #45
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Christ-on-a-stick,

Actually, I was pretty much expecting a life story. I read it with interest. It's always amazed me to meet the different people on this board, their lives, and their jobs. Especially since yours is well, not "socially acceptable".

When I asked the question as to whether or not it was enjoyable, perhaps I should have been more specific, although you answered it pretty thoroughly in the other parts.

What I was looking for was to whether or not the sex was enjoyable. Did you actually have an orgasm while doing the film? Were the men or women you did it with enjoying it with you?

I think that's my main point. Because if it wasn't, it would seem like something cruel and exploitive to me. I've always considered sex to be something extremely intimate between two people (this is coming from a virgin who hasn't even been kissed yet, so ignore my ignorance please! ) and I would never dare to perform what I consider to be private in front of people. Only recently have I started to feel that prostitution was okay, as long as the prostitute was enjoying what she was doing.

So the important thing is that you enjoyed what you were doing.

Just take this as a person who admires your courage, and as a compliment. I don't look down on you anymore than I would look down on anyone else. Even the wealthiest doctor can be a jerk and an idiot.

Thanks for answering the question.
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Old 01-30-2003, 12:04 PM   #46
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Hi again Harumi!

Glad you didn't find my ramblings too tedious.

To answer your question, as far as enjoyment goes -

In the case of the few things I did when I was 18-19, the mainstream boy-girl stuff, I didn't enjoy it physically at all which is why I quit pretty quickly.

In the majority of what I have done in the past seven years (mostly girl-girl but also some solo, light bondage and fetish-type things - not overtly sexual), I have definitely physically enjoyed myself. So the answer to the "O" question is yes. The times that I haven't found particularly enjoyable have been the bondage and fetish scenes, although I should stress that I didn't find them UNpleasant or uncomfortable or distasteful - just kinda "ho-hum, this isn't really my thing" (that's where the acting comes in ).

After my initial unpleasant experiences, when I went back into the industry the standard that I set for myself was that I would never do anything that I found uncomfortable, painful or "mentally" distasteful, or that I would be ashamed of having done. I am glad to say that I have stuck to my guns

As far as the other performers are concerned, I think that the majority of them found the work enjoyable as well, and that was actually one of the main factors I looked for when choosing a partner - most girls are pretty open about whether they actually like other women or are, as they say, "gay for pay". I always strongly preferred working with someone who could genuinely be relaxed and have fun - I learned after a while (from viewing scenes after the shoot) that besides for it being more fun, it *really* shows on camera. Some girls are really good actresses but you can still tell the difference.

Hope that answers your questions! Feel free to ask anything... at this point I'm an open book! The seal has been broken!!!

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Old 01-30-2003, 12:18 PM   #47
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Talking More questions!

Hmmm...

I've got another question. How old are the actors usually?

I've heard of girls in the porn biz that are so young that I would call it bordering on child prostitution. Do the companies try to weed those people out, or encourage it?

How does the porn biz affect relationships with lovers or husbands/wives? You would think that some people would get a bit jealous, or that others who have discovered that their partners had been in such a business be disturbed at the thought.

And this question is just purely for fun:

Are the guys hot? And the girls?

That would make it all worth it in my opinion. Just to lay with a beautiful human being, public or not.

Oooo...that was dirty!
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Old 01-30-2003, 12:41 PM   #48
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Originally posted by christ-on-a-stick
In the majority of what I have done in the past seven years (mostly girl-girl but also some solo, light bondage and fetish-type things - not overtly sexual), I have definitely physically enjoyed myself. So the answer to the "O" question is yes. The times that I haven't found particularly enjoyable have been the bondage and fetish scenes, although I should stress that I didn't find them UNpleasant or uncomfortable or distasteful - just kinda "ho-hum, this isn't really my thing" (that's where the acting comes in ).
[/QUOTE]

Besides, who says that acting that's not enjoyable is somehow wrong. Does an actor or actress never have something unpleasant in a scene? I've seen discussions of photo shoots where they discussed the physical difficulty of getting a shot. I remember Playboy once had a photo series of girls on ice. Given how Playboy dresses it's models they were obviously cold while doing it.

How does it suddenly become bad if the lack of enjoyment is in a sexual context?
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Old 01-30-2003, 12:44 PM   #49
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Default Re: More questions!

Originally posted by Harumi
How does the porn biz affect relationships with lovers or husbands/wives? You would think that some people would get a bit jealous, or that others who have discovered that their partners had been in such a business be disturbed at the thought.
[/QUOTE]

While neither my wife nor I is involved in porno (other than some stuff we shot for our own enjoyment that nobody else has ever seen) I would have no problem with her doing certain things.

Porno as such would not bother me one bit. It's a matter of what goes on. The presence of the camera would not justify infidelity. If there's no infidelity (either no other person, or I'm the other person) I would have no problem with it.
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Old 01-30-2003, 01:21 PM   #50
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Quote:
Oooo...that was dirty!
LOL Harumi - you crack me up!

Let's see if I can get these in order...
Quote:
How old are the actors usually?
In the studios that are on the up-and-up (complying with the law) the age range for females is between 18-30 on average with some exceptions of women between 30-40 that look "younger".
Quote:
I've heard of girls in the porn biz that are so young that I would call it bordering on child prostitution. Do the companies try to weed those people out, or encourage it?
There are certainly people out there trafficking in illegal productions, using minors (under 18), and I fear that there always will be... however in my experience and those I have talked to, the above-board studios are very scrupulous about maintaining documentation on all performers being over 18. They do *not* want to risk prosecution and/or lawsuits.
Quote:
How does the porn biz affect relationships with lovers or husbands/wives? You would think that some people would get a bit jealous, or that others who have discovered that their partners had been in such a business be disturbed at the thought.
Well, this is a complex questions and bear in mind that I can only speak from A) my personal experience and B) the experiences of others as recounted to me.

Starting with me personally - my first husband knew about the things I had done before we got married (when I was 19) and he accepted it as part of my past but would not have been ok with me doing anything again (even not involving another man), which was fine with me although it was an issue that he could not accept my attraction to women (even if never acted upon - he saw it as extremely "sinful") and also would never think of watching porn together. These issues were not really a part of our split however (his slide into superfundyism was but not pertaining to those issues specifically).

I had already re-entered the industry when I met and started dating my current husband, and I was forthcoming about what I was doing as soon as we started dating exclusively (I didn't spring it on him on the first date or anything!) and before we began a sexual relationship. He was a little surprised and had a lot of questions at first but accepted it pretty easily, I think in large part because I was totally forthcoming about what I was doing, showed him some of the photos and videos, he met the producer, etc. In the time we've been together (almost 6 years) he has been concerned a few times about the ramifications to me if anyone found out that I didn't want to (employers, family, whatnot) but I think the fact that in seven years I've never once been "discovered" has reassured him that it's a virtual OCEAN of content out there and even my relatively large body of work is merely a drop in that ocean- the chances of anyone I know "stumbling across" a boxcover on the internet are infinitesimal without specifically searching using my screen name.

As far as others go.... hard to say. I have met girls in horribly dysfunctional relationships, girls married to other actors - some in good relationships, some bad - some in similar situations to me and everything in between. Some are in relationships that are also in a "swinging" lifestyle and I have met a few who are polyamorous. One or two had boyfriends who didn't know.

The common threads that I saw in the relationships that *seemed* healthy was trust, honesty and open communication. That has been what has worked for me (us).
Quote:
And this question is just purely for fun: Are the guys hot? And the girls?
Well... since the past 7 years haven't involved any guys I'll just address the girls.

Some extremely beautiful women.
MOSTLY, very pretty women, made beautiful with the help of makeup artist/hair stylist/lighting and camera (much like in mainstream Hollywood).
Quite a few great bodies/soso facial attractiveness.
A few not very attractive in my opinion, but one thing I've learned is that for every "look" there is someone out there with a preference for it (especially when you get into the fetish stuff). Different strokes for different folks.
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