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Old 06-18-2003, 12:57 PM   #121
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If I start going on about how you're afraid of women because your mother was overbearing, you're not going to want to talk to me for very long, are you?
"We're talking about yguy and how he's intimidated by and controlled by his own lust for women (which means he takes power away from himself, not the women take power away from him). Now that I'm more aware of what makes you tick, I'm out."

Sound familiar? Seems to me I could just as easily taken offense at this as you have at what I said. As you are well aware, I have been, if anything, soliciting your input until now, and am happy to talk to you still. Hope that answers the question.

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If you intend to facilitate further conversation, don't do that sort of thing.
I did nothing wrong. You have made me guilty in your mind of a fabricated offense. What I said made you angry, therefore it was wrong in your eyes. It is difficult to escape the conclusion that you focused on it as a means of distracting yourself from the point I'm trying to make. Therefore, it appears you're not really interested in anything but fault-finding, in which case there is no point in further conversation between us on the issue.

If you care to upbrade me further on this matter of my alleged rudeness, I will respond in a PM, not on this thread.
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Old 06-18-2003, 02:09 PM   #122
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Originally posted by fatherphil
is there a need for a family to have a leader?
Only in a single-parent family; a two-parent family needs partners.
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Old 06-18-2003, 02:25 PM   #123
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Originally posted by Dr Rick
Only in a single-parent family; a two-parent family needs partners.
Actually, I've seen democratic families work, too, although its a scary notion to me. And a single-parent family might have leaders if the grandparents or someone else were in that role.

A family needs structure, I think, and consistency and a lot of dedication.
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Old 06-18-2003, 02:25 PM   #124
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Originally posted by Dr Rick
a two-parent family needs partners.
Since you have made the positive assertion, I'm sure your sense of rhetorical ethics impels you to assume the burden of proof.

Right?

Didn't think so.
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Old 06-18-2003, 02:45 PM   #125
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Originally posted by Dr Rick
Only in a single-parent family; a two-parent family needs partners.
who gets the final vote in this partnership?
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Old 06-18-2003, 02:49 PM   #126
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Originally posted by fatherphil
who gets the final vote in this partnership?
Why would there be a final vote in a partnership?
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Old 06-18-2003, 02:53 PM   #127
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Originally posted by fatherphil
who gets the final vote in this partnership?
Whoever is the better intimidator/manipulator.
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Old 06-18-2003, 03:01 PM   #128
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[B]Sound familiar? Seems to me I could just as easily taken offense at this as you have at what I said. As you are well aware, I have been, if anything, soliciting your input until now, and am happy to talk to you still. Hope that answers the question.
Yes. It sounds distinctly familiar. And it was a statement about how were were talking about power/lust rather than practical solutions for <edit>reducing or eliminating the need for</edit> abortion, which was the topic of that thread and I think a topic important to both of us (though for different reasons).

I didn't make up the power/lust scenario out of thin air or out of 2 sentences. You were taking the position that the power/lust scenario applied to all men, and I found that all I could draw from that was that it must apply to you, you being so certain of it, to which you replied that you just knew yourself better than other men knew themselves.

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I did nothing wrong. You have made me guilty in your mind of a fabricated offense. What I said made you angry, therefore it was wrong in your eyes. It is difficult to escape the conclusion that you focused on it as a means of distracting yourself from the point I'm trying to make. Therefore, it appears you're not really interested in anything but fault-finding, in which case there is no point in further conversation between us on the issue.
No, I'm pointing out to you that you did something that I'd prefer you not do again. That is all. I'm not sending you to your room or calling you a bad boy. I think you said something that had an unintended effect, and you can't know what effect it had unless I tell you. I'd do the same with any friend. That's healthy communication. You can accept that it has that effect on me and try to avoid doing it again or you can defend doing it.

A little more back on topic, I'm not trying to avoid your point.

As for my mother, she's a quiet and sort of private person. I wasn't completely sure she believed in god until I was a teenager. Because she's so quiet, I am not able to state with complete confidence how she feels or thinks about many things.

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Not men who cuddle their kids, men who mother them.
OK, I'm not clear on what mothering means here. I used "cuddling" because I thought when you said hugs and kisses were the shallowest form of love a father could give, that meant mothering.

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That, of course, would have been the stick. Eve waved the carrot of godhood in front of him that satan had waved in front of her. It was merely a sugar-coated form of intimidation.
If that is so, why isn't any suggestion ever made to a man at any time just sugar-coated intimidation? And if it is, why would a husband listen to and consider his wife's opinion at all? Why would he ever consider the possibility that she's more experienced in a given area? Is she not taking authority by merely making a suggestion, if Eve was? Shouldn't a woman, a good woman of her own accord, realize that stating any opinion not told to her by her husband or father is taking authority, and decide to hold her peace at all times?

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Sure, but he starts to lose his mind the minute those big blue eyes of hers convince him he's the ginchiest.
They're brown, damn near black. I also have not observed men to be anywhere near as weak as you are describing, and I've been around some. Why are you so certain that all men are so easily swayed? Why would a self-respecting woman let a man like that in the door?

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But the she gets to play the innocent victim and get sympathy from the kids.
I'm not sure what this thought is connected to, so I can't respond.

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If the dad is submissive, the tendency is to hold him in contempt.
Proof? Again, this doesn't mesh with my experience.

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(Me) Sometimes in the traditional family the boy grows up thinking all women are weak and so he doesn't respect them, and the girl grows up thinking, well, that she shouldn't bother with thinking. Sometimes. It's always sometimes.

(yguy)If it were just sometimes, we would never have elected a scoundrel like Clinton twice, and apologists for pedophilia would not hold respected positions in academia.
You just supported my position based on what you quoted and how you replied.

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Who said it wasn't possible? Hell, there was a guy on 60 minutes years ago whose mom had taken thalidomide so that he was born without arms. The guy made a living painting pictures by holding a brush between his toes. Had a great attitude towards life. Maybe my mom should have taken thalidomide so that I could have had such an admirable outlook on life.
But you see, there is actual proof that thalidomide results in birth defects, and there is actual proof that being born without arms makes life more challenging. I do not see proof that non-traditional marriage results in defective people, or if it does that the sort of "defects" you're describing have a negative effect... that they are defects at all.

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Unfortunately, parents can be abusive without knowing it, as the many stories of rotten kids coming from rich families will attest to.
True. However the child of parents who are trying very hard and who are willing to learn as they go along has a better chance than the child of parents who think they know the right way from the start and just follow that path come what may.

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What makes one exclusive of the other? If everyone is born with a trace of selfishness, does its universality within the human ream mean there is nothing wrong with it, that it should not be overcome?
Linguistically, it does not make sense to me to say all men have a type of confusion. This is merely semantic, so there's no reason to continue with it. I get your meaning, even if I don't agree with the word choice.

<grumble>The forum just ate part of this post. </grumble>

I have nothing of substance to say about the biblical references, but in light of these being your foundation, don't they do away with the problem of the "intuitively obvious"? If natural authority is derived from Adam and from Christ, isn't this knowledge of this authority learned rather than being a sort of congenital intuition? children are not born with knowledge of Adam or of Christ, so why would they be born with knowledge of a abstract idea derived from those examples?
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Old 06-18-2003, 03:34 PM   #129
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Cool You thought wrong...

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Originally posted by yguy
Since you have made the positive assertion, I'm sure your sense of rhetorical ethics impels you to assume the burden of proof.

Right?

Didn't think so.
It's obviously intuitive and self-evident:

"...the right of men and women of marriageable age to many and to found a family shall be recognized,” and that “husband and wife should be equal partners.” - The World Congress of Families opening address to the second Congress from its President, Geneva, 1999

"rhetorical ethics"? Is that anything like being a Christian while spewing hateful messages about gays and women?
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Old 06-18-2003, 04:06 PM   #130
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(Me) I'll tell you what leads me to that thought. You don't seem to believe that all men are more capable, intelligent, or knowledgeable than all women. If a man is not "better" just by virtue of being a man, why should a woman submit to a man at all?

(yguy) If he isn't, she shouldn't enter a contract that requires that, which traditional marriage does, as I use the term.
Exactly! She shouldn't. And traditional marriage is not the only choice open to her. She can enter a different kind of relationship.

But then you'd have us believe, without putting forth any evidence to support this extreme conclusion, that she and her partner are leading to the downfall of the nation.
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