Freethought & Rationalism Archive

seebs · 01-07-2003, 04:40 PM

It turns out apparently many of you have never heard of Kibology, my "other" religion which is really not a religion, just a bunch of funny crap on Usenet.

Here's three posts I am fond of.

http://groups.google.com/groups?selm...&output=gplain

Quote:

-> and renewed commitment to fostering an innovative culture
-> in order to remain globally competitive. It also represents
-> Acer's evolution from a high technology, hardware focused
-> company to a softer, human centric and hi-touch company.

"Mommy! That man didn't just say 'hello' to me, he 'hi'-touched
me where my bathing suit covers!"

-> The new Acer is 'soft' in every sense,

(a thousand golden trumpets sound, and because each trumpet is filled with
millions of tiny platinum trumpets which spray into the air and explode
showering the world with microscopic trumpet fragments which all shout
"BRING ON THE DANCING BEARS!", the dancing bears must now enter, which
they do.)

*** THE DANCING BEARS OF BOZOSITY ENTER. THEY POINT TO THE SENTENCE
*** FRAGMENT ABOVE. SOME OF THEM GIGGLE. SOME OF THEM FROWN.
*** THEN THEY ALL EXPLODE. AND A GOOD TIME WAS HAD BY ALL.

http://groups.google.com/groups?selm...&output=gplain

Quote:

-> The logo was inspired by what I call the moment of inspiration.

(ten trillion tubas sound a glorious oom-pah-pah fanfare as
the DANCING BEARS OF REDUNDANCY AND/OR TAUTOLOGY AND/OR REDUNDANCY
come dancing over the curved horizon, which represents the
future direction a company could go on its way to falling off the
face of the Earth.)

-> It happens when what you're working on starts to come to life.

"Our logo represents Frankenstein. From now on, our only product
is 'RRR! FIRE BAD!'. With 'RRR! FIRE BAD!' your computer can
tell you whether or not you are on fire, and whether that is bad.
Then it will kill you just to be safe."

http://groups.google.com/groups?selm...&output=gplain

Quote:

> Our new logo is an innovative, creative image

Is the blurry lettering the innovative part or the creative part?

Hmm, I'm going to say the burning sideways clown face is the
creative part. So I guess the lettering designed to look badly-Xeroxed
must be the innovative part.

GunnerJ · 01-07-2003, 06:52 PM

I have no fucking clue what all this is about, but I have never laughed so hard for so long in my life. My family just spent the last ten minutes trying to get me to shut up.

I hereby declare you KING OF THE HUMOR FORUM, and the lame Photoshop, "Therefor god whatever," and stupid name threads cower and tremble before your awesomeness.

seebs · 01-07-2003, 07:41 PM

What this is about is this.

There's this guy. His name is James Parry, but he doesn't go by that; he goes by "Kibo". (Kai-boh, not kee-boh).

Once, long ago, he discovered something. If you have a news spool, and a recognizable enough handle (such as "kibo"), you can simply run grep on the *entire news spool* and find every instance of your name.

So, for quite a while, if you used his name *ANYWHERE* on Usenet, he could respond to you, even though no one thought he read that group.

Kibo is a genius. I think his regular work is typeface design - and he has some hilarious stuff on his web page about bad typeface design. He's a very, very, funny guy.

Anyway, gradually, the idea of "kibology" formed. Kibology is a bit like a parody-religion, only it's not even a religion, just a bunch of people who hang out together and share jokes. It's a lot like IIDB or CF - regulars get to know each other, and care about each others' lives, and post stories about personal state that would be of *no* interest at all except that, hey, we know these people.

Kibology is built in large part around memes - things that were funny once and are now running jokes. For instance, when red mentioned that she used to be unable to sleep with either clothes or covers in the summer, because it was so hot where she lived, a chorus of people responded with comments like "GIF! GIF!", "SUBSCRIBE!", or - my favorite - "POST PROOF OR RETRACT!".

If you post to alt.religion.kibology asking what Kibology is, at least a few people will respond "TWENTY BUCKS! SAME AS IN TOWN!".

The difference is, it's *funny.* Kibologists tend not to spend their time attacking religion, or atheism, or whichever political group they're not in; they attack stuff that's not important to anyone, just sorta silly looking. Compassion is more highly rated among these people than you'd think from seeing the general irreverence.

Anyway, it's my "other" community. I'm not always active in it, because Usenet is a timesink, but it's a lot of fun, and I thought people here would appreciate.

An example of Kibology not involving Kibo himself:

http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=e...9c6ea8b&rnum=1

Quote:

Theorem: Every movie is improved by the mention of pants.
Proof: Observe.
(...)
Gimli: I have the eyes of a hawk and the pants of a fox.
Haldir: The dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in his pants.

Gandalf: Many that live deserve pants. Some that die deserve pants. Can you
give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out pants in judgment.
Even the very wise cannot see all pants.

Aragorn: You have my sword.
Legolas: And my bow.
Gimli: And my pants.

Hong Ooi also developed the art of responding to nearly any statement with a verb and an object with:

I'm verbing my noun right now, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

You would be AMAZED at how hard it is not to turn pretty much anything into a euphemism for masturbation this way.

e.g., "I'm turning this into a eumphemism for masturbation *right now*, IYKWIM, AITYD".

If you have time, go to:
http://www.kibo.com/

Not all the best stuff is there, but there's a lot of good stuff there.

I guess, I just wanted to share with you all the idea that humor needn't be offensive to be funny. Sure, sick jokes and blasphemy can be funny, but... There is a place in this world for a web page with buttons like "Release Toxic Pez" and "Register Not To Vote" which go to the same place.

BTW, the scientists among you will be glad to know that kibology has substantial overlap with the famous hobby of "making fun of kooks". If any of you remember George Hammond's "scientific proof of God", you will be glad to know that Kibologists have been mocking the guy for years.

"Einstein's Medieval Christmas is the Christmas 2002 story. And remember, NO REFUNDS."

http://www.kibo.com/kibofic/einstein_xmas_2002.shtml

Enjoy.

fando · 01-07-2003, 07:57 PM

Wow, this stuff is supposed to be dead by now! I remember reading alt.religion.kibology many years ago. How ancient (by usenet standards)!

seebs · 01-07-2003, 08:00 PM

Why should it be dead? ARK is active even today. And '91 isn't *ancient*. It's just sorta old.

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01-07-2003, 06:52 PM	#2
GunnerJ Banned Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: a place where i can list whatever location i want Posts: 4,871	Bravo, good sir, bravo I have no fucking clue what all this is about, but I have never laughed so hard for so long in my life. My family just spent the last ten minutes trying to get me to shut up. I hereby declare you KING OF THE HUMOR FORUM, and the lame Photoshop, "Therefor god whatever," and stupid name threads cower and tremble before your awesomeness.

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01-07-2003, 07:57 PM	#4
fando Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Los Angeles Area Posts: 1,372	Wow, this stuff is supposed to be dead by now! I remember reading alt.religion.kibology many years ago. How ancient (by usenet standards)!

01-07-2003, 08:00 PM	#5
seebs Contributor Join Date: May 2002 Location: Saint Paul, MN Posts: 24,524	Why should it be dead? ARK is active even today. And '91 isn't ancient. It's just sorta old.

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