echidna

You're not wrong there. That's why my uncle adopted his 2 kids from Sri Lanka. Long story, won't bore you.

Claudia

Personnally, to share the first day(s)/month(s) of life of my baby was very important. Not that I would be unable to love an adopted kid, but I would miss this time a lot (in France, adoption is impossible before the baby is 3 months old, when the biological parents cannot claim him anymore).

I did not crave for "the biological changes of pregnancy". But the emotionnal bond that is created during the pregnancy (when the mother feels the baby moving and reacting to her) is something which cannot be neglected.

Jamie_L

I second what most folks have said.

I didn't just want to be a parent. I wanted to be a parent of a child that was my offspring.

Is that extra desire immoral in the presence of children who need to be adopted? Again, I second the notion that it's no less immoral than me deciding to spend a hundred dollars on Christmas presents for my family rather than donating it to charity.

Is it immoral to decide not to be a parent when there are children out there to adopt? Is it immoral to let my brother in-law stay with us over the holidays but not invite a homeless person to stay with us for the holidays?

At some level, we all accept some selfish desires as being okay.

Jamie