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Old 06-17-2003, 10:57 PM   #111
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Originally posted by yguy
It is a faint wisp of the authority Adam had and lost,

How did Adam get this authority? I'd like to see a verse from Genesis (or, for that matter, anywhere), which says something like, "Adam had natural authority over Eve, and her intuitive knowledge recognized this as correct". Any authority he had seems to have been more of a punishment to Eve (after the fall) than a privilege he was given because he was the male.

Moreover, isn't there another verse in the New Testament which says, there is neither slave nor free, male nor female, in Jesus?

An egotistical person having it directed at him/her will hate it, at least temporarily.

Why "him"? The man should be dominating the woman, after all - he shouldn't be dominating other men, unless he's in a homosexual relationship.
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Old 06-17-2003, 11:13 PM   #112
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Originally posted by yguy
It is a faint wisp of the authority Adam had and lost,
Fact not in evidence.

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and which Christ had and retained
Fact not in evidence.

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An egotistical person having it directed at him/her will hate it, at least temporarily.
Fact not in evidence.

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If male authority figures you have encountered tended to be at all phony or shallow, you would tend to confuse that sort of authority with the kind I'm talking about.
That almost sounds like an impending True Scotsman line.


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I rather suspect, however, that she was not, outward appearances notwithstanding.
Fact not in evidence AND calling someone else a liar.

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However, I don't anyone's intuition escapes childhood unimpaired. Perhaps this is a blind spot for you.
Not only is this in and of itself a fact not in evidence, the existence of this intuition is a fact not in evidence.
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Old 06-17-2003, 11:25 PM   #113
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That means you don't know for sure whether she did or not. Let's say she really didn't. Why would you think it unfair if she was happy in that role?
My intention was to point out that it felt instinctively unfair to me, even as a child too young to articulate that. I remember feeling that. And since this was before I had experience with the world outside of my family and my family certainly didn't teach me it was unfair, I must not have found Dad's position as head of the family to be intuitively correct.

At this point I don't think it was unfair for her because she was an adult and she chose to live like that. I do think that the life she led would be miserable for me.

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I rather suspect, however, that she was not, outward appearances notwithstanding. If I had more info, I'll bet I could show you that your example doesn't really contradict what I'm saying, but I don't know that you want to go into all that on open or otherwise.
That was rude and arrogant. You have absolutely no evidence pointing in that direction. You did the same thing in the thread about my sister. You get a couple sentences of personal info and you're pretty confident you can analyse that person and that further information will show your knee-jerk analysis is correct. Let me guess... If my mother were really happy with her life, I'd have felt it was right; she must have in some small way shown me that she was unhappy and I internalized it.

If you tell me more about your psychologically abusive mother, I'll bet I can show you that she is the entire reason you fear women and feel the need to dominate them out of self-defense.

Dal
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Old 06-18-2003, 10:55 AM   #114
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Originally posted by Daleth
That was rude and arrogant.
I don't see how. I commented on information you volunteered. In fact, I could have speculated quite a bit more, but held back in a conscious effort NOT to be rude. Evidently you believe an apology is warranted. I don't see why as of now.

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You have absolutely no evidence pointing in that direction.
You and I obviously have a difference of opinion about that.

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You did the same thing in the thread about my sister. You get a couple sentences of personal info and you're pretty confident you can analyse that person and that further information will show your knee-jerk analysis is correct. Let me guess... If my mother were really happy with her life, I'd have felt it was right; she must have in some small way shown me that she was unhappy and I internalized it.
Yes, that is essentially where I was headed. If I'm wrong, then I've merely made an idiot of myself, so I don't know what there is for you to be upset about.

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If you tell me more about your psychologically abusive mother, I'll bet I can show you that she is the entire reason you fear women and feel the need to dominate them out of self-defense.
When I divulge personal information on a public board, I take the risk that people will draw unpleasant conclusions about me, whether they do it out of spite or otherwise. You are welcome to speculate to your heart's content; but just as I don't necessarily expect you to help me analyze the undercurrents of your psyche, don't expect me to be particularly forthcoming in that regard.

The point is that you can hardly expect me to take your representation at face value since, being as close to the situation as you are, you have a perceptual disadvantage that I as a distant observer do not.
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Old 06-18-2003, 11:32 AM   #115
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Originally posted by Daleth
No. Hmmm... where to begin? I have never suggested the abolition of traditional marriage. That's addressed in my previous post, I think.

Gender confusion, as you use the term, means such an array of things. I've seen you use it to mean everything from homosexuality to Michael Jackson to men who cuddle their kids.
Not men who cuddle their kids, men who mother them.

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But anyway... If my daughter were interested in 2 men who looked like them and were deciding between, and they both treated her well, I'd be fine with that.
Then there is a gulf of perception between us.

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OK, so it's a story I don't believe in, but at least it provides a starting point. But where do you get that he submitted to her authority? She made a suggestion and he liked it and went for it (not all that surprising given that he didn't yet have the knowledge of good and evil). The story is not that she gave him the forbidden fruit and said, "This is what we're having for dinner tonight. Eat it or go hungry."
That, of course, would have been the stick. Eve waved the carrot of godhood in front of him that satan had waved in front of her. It was merely a sugar-coated form of intimidation.

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You've been telling us that a husband should consider his wife's opinions and consider the areas where she has more knowledge along with all other factors when he makes his decision. But if we take just the story above, shouldn't the husband refuse to hear his wife's opinions at all, lest he be tempted by his weakness for her and make the wrong choice like Adam did? When she speaks, shouldn't he plug his ears and chant, "La, la, la, I can't hear you"?
That would be his ego attempting to evade an unpleasant outcome rather than addressing the problem - sort of like a guy solving his problem of lust by amputating his equipment. And of course he'd eventually break down anyway.

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Sure, I wouldn't respect a guy like that, nor let him in the house. That's creepy. You're reducing this man to a caricature, and this woman has no weakness. Remember, Eve was tempted too... by a big old snake, if you like symbolism. In reality, this guy has a mind and this woman has desires.
Sure, but he starts to lose his mind the minute those big blue eyes of hers convince him he's the ginchiest.

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Or maybe they both just think Dad's a loser. And in a traditional family, maybe they both grow up thinking Mum is weak.
But the she gets to play the innocent victim and get sympathy from the kids. If the dad is submissive, the tendency is to hold him in contempt.

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Sometimes in the traditional family the boy grows up thinking all women are weak and so he doesn't respect them, and the girl grows up thinking, well, that she shouldn't bother with thinking. Sometimes. It's always sometimes.
If it were just sometimes, we would never have elected a scoundrel like Clinton twice, and apologists for pedophilia would not hold respected positions in academia.

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But of course there's your evidence that it's possible. It happens quite a lot, in fact.
Who said it wasn't possible? Hell, there was a guy on 60 minutes years ago whose mom had taken thalidomide so that he was born without arms. The guy made a living painting pictures by holding a brush between his toes. Had a great attitude towards life. Maybe my mom should have taken thalidomide so that I could have had such an admirable outlook on life.

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And based on your description of your mother as "psychologically abusive," imagine how much more easily it can work out when the parents in question are doing their damnedest to raise healthy kids and provide them as many positive role models as possible.
Unfortunately, parents can be abusive without knowing it, as the many stories of rotten kids coming from rich families will attest to.

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If all men have got it, it's not confusion. It's the nature of being male.
What makes one exclusive of the other? If everyone is born with a trace of selfishness, does its universality within the human ream mean there is nothing wrong with it, that it should not be overcome?
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Old 06-18-2003, 11:39 AM   #116
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It's not an "opinion" that you have no evidence.

Prove it or shut up.
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Old 06-18-2003, 11:52 AM   #117
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Originally posted by Dr Rick
Still no explanation as to why a penis is a prerequisite for family leadership.
is there a need for a family to have a leader?
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Old 06-18-2003, 12:04 PM   #118
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Still no explanation as to why a penis is a prerequisite for family leadership.
Oh! Oh! I know! The family needs a leader who can "point the way fowards" while holding two cups of coffee.
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Old 06-18-2003, 12:15 PM   #119
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Quote:
Originally posted by yguy
[B]I don't see how. I commented on information you volunteered. In fact, I could have speculated quite a bit more, but held back in a conscious effort NOT to be rude. Evidently you believe an apology is warranted. I don't see why as of now.
No, I don't expect and am not asking for an apology. Please don't do it again.

It was rude and arrogant because of the phrasing. You see, you didn't say, "But perhaps she was secretly unhappy," or "When you say she didn't seem unhappy, just what do you mean?" Instead you did this thing you've done before, which was snap to a conclusion based on a few sentences which for all you know I just worded badly. The way you put it this time, as you have before, assumes knowledge on your part and misunderstanding on mine.

I wrote in to a message board and I wasn't asking for help concerning my mother. I did not call in to Dr. Laura. Feel free to ask questions and try to figure things out, but if you want to try to sort out people's lives in 50 words or less, get a radio show. Ask. Don't assume.

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When I divulge personal information on a public board, I take the risk that people will draw unpleasant conclusions about me, whether they do it out of spite or otherwise. You are welcome to speculate to your heart's content; but just as I don't necessarily expect you to help me analyze the undercurrents of your psyche, don't expect me to be particularly forthcoming in that regard.
You're right. I took that risk, and I know it. I'm sure I'll do it again. I'm not a very private person. Again, it's not what you said, but how you said it. I don't believe you indended to be rude, so I'm telling you that I think it was. I wouldn't post the information if I were going to be broken up about people drawing conclusions from it. And I'm not broken up about it. If I start going on about how you're afraid of women because your mother was overbearing, you're not going to want to talk to me for very long, are you? If you intend to facilitate further conversation, don't do that sort of thing.

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The point is that you can hardly expect me to take your representation at face value since, being as close to the situation as you are, you have a perceptual disadvantage that I as a distant observer do not.
You, however, are too distant.

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Then there is a gulf of perception between us.
Yes, there is. I knew that before we started this and you at least had a hint of it, if only because I wrote to you, "I disagree with you on virtually everything." You have no hope of convincing me, and I'm not even trying to convince you. The only purpose to continuing this conversation is to make yourself understood. If that's valuable to you, do go on. If you were hoping to change my mind, may as well quit.

You keep saying that something is intuitively obvious not just to you, but to all humans. You keep using that word -- I do not think it means what you think it means. The other posters should be making you aware that what is obvious to you is not so to the majority here.

Dal
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Old 06-18-2003, 12:17 PM   #120
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Originally posted by Calzaer
Oh! Oh! I know! The family needs a leader who can "point the way fowards" while holding two cups of coffee.
No, no, no! The answer is, "Why does a ship need a captain?" If you haven't got that by now, well, sheesh! Where have you been?
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