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Old 08-22-2002, 11:22 PM   #1
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Red face help - rational actions and irrational responses

Hi I need some help. I started a thread in misc. discussions about my inability to hold down a job, years of stress caused by working for abusive people etc. Gone mad by others' rage is the title.

The point being that I am a competent, educated highly skilled individual. I get a job and then the bureaucrats say "You didn't follow such and such rule. You're fired." I reply with "You did not tell me that rule. I cannot know that rule and follow it if you did not tell me that rule. You have a communication problem." Then they tell me I have a bad attitude. I do not have a problem with educated people such as doctors. The manager idiots are the ones I lock horns with.

I have always been polite and professional and efficient (indeed overqualified, have a doctorate) and many judges, lawyers and others have verbally abused me, made up stuff and slandered me to other judges and lawyers, sworn out false affidavits to get my court reporting license, told me constantly my work was not good enough when it was as close to perfect as a human could get, screamed at me, said flat out I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU, etc. All this has happened for no rational reason. Only because people are often mean, petty, jealous, power-hungry adn all that. I have done NOTHING to deserve any of this abuse.
Therefore there is no way I can change my behavior to obtain a job.

My conclusion is that I am acting rationally; the people I am dealing with are reacting to me irrationally and I am trapped. Trapped because whether I ignore them, assert myself, or get aggressive, it has NO INFLUENCE on how they treat me. I am powerless in the work world. No male authority figure will listen to me. Or female either, except my doctor and my boyfriend.

So I am nuts because I am the one acting rationally; they are the irrational ones but they have the power in society. And there are books on dealing with bullying at work and verbal abuse springing up. Because of being bullied all my life for several reasons I have high blood pressure, PTSD, major depression and avoidant personality disorder.

Would a philosophy expert tell me who came up wtih the concept that the individual can be healthy even when the society is sick and dysfunctional, and tells the person that he is the sick one??

Thanks for assistance.
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Old 08-23-2002, 01:58 AM   #2
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You ARE sane... this IS an upside down world. People respecting other peoples individual integrity is unfortunately a rare thing.

Quote:
Originally posted by Opera Nut:
<strong>Would a philosophy expert tell me who came up with the concept that the individual can be healthy even when the society is sick and dysfunctional, and tells the person that he is the sick one??
</strong>
We're all unique parts of existence with individual value. No one is worth more or less than anyone else. I hope my (ahem) 'lack of credentials' won't put you down here. You have first hand experience at how 'credentials' in themselves don't cut it, after all.
Does it really matter WHO came up with the concept you're referring to? Do you need to know who first determined one and one makes two? Isn't it a concrete criterium you can rely on that you're after? Confirmation from other people (you don't even consider rational) appearantly doesn't cut it.
Life's about making (wise) choices and knowledge (wisdom) to base those choices on. You don't need to be a philosophy professor to crack that one.
Something either certainly or possibly is. Those are your decisive criteria. Every other word, concept, quality etc. either certainly or possibly applies. Choose certainties, and always keep your options open!

We're all unique parts of existence with individual value.
Please don't let those jobs you've lost put you down. The important thing is you knowing you gave it your best shot. Just don't ever think you don't make any mistakes, nobody's infallible. Don't feel bad about making mistakes (that's an inevitability), but feel good about learning from them.

Try to realize others always find ways to make excuses for their behaviour, in the defense of their beliefs. As twisted as it may sound, they are convinced they're doing the right thing, or acting irrational out of fear of judgement. Would you like to be referred to as a powerhungry idiot? Honestly?
I understand your rage, it's the effort you put in, with no rewarding results in return. But putting others down, isn't going to help you feel good about yourself. Try to realize superiour behaviour is compensation. Those people need to make less of others to feel like more. The worse they try to make you feel, the less they think of themselves.
Try to see WHO you are and WHAT you do as two seperate elements. They influence each other, so if someone critizeses your actions, the worst thing you could do is allow that critisism to make you feel less about yourself as a person.

You're exceptional, special, and unique. And appearantly you're genuinly worried about the upside down state this world is in. That's an admirable quality! That's why I regret the way it seems to get to you. Maybe knowing that there are people out there who care helps. (I do; and I'm sorry I don't have a job to offer you )
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