Freethought & Rationalism Archive

southernhybrid · 03-20-2003, 05:08 AM

Psst. Will somebody please explain the concept of parody to xian.

At least he realizes how cute and cuddly we are. I'll give him credit for that.

Mageth · 03-20-2003, 10:49 AM

the GPB doesn't fluctuate, either.

OK, substitute something for "fluctuate" in my parody. "Impregnate a virgin", perhaps?

But wait, that doesn't work for all the places. "Breathe", perhaps? "Speak"?

Umm, just how did the GPB do all those things?

xian · 03-20-2003, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by worldling
Hey, xian. Why don't you check out some real Christian poetry. You might learn something about rhyme and metre.

Then again, you might not ...

i write modern poetry. i dont need rhyme and meter.

ever go to the smithsonian and look at the modern art exhibits?

once you are able to actually get over the mental hurdle and call it "art", then you will be able to appreciate my poetry!

Rhea · 03-20-2003, 11:10 AM

I think it's kind of cute.

"Who could deny your pink light"

I mean, really. It's quite moving!
I'm being serious here, I do think it's cute - modern "rhyme" and "meter" and all.

xian · 03-20-2003, 11:22 AM

yes, thank you. tears almost came to my eyes too as the words poured forth.

"With your everloving froth
Inflating your great wisdom and space-time foam "

i mean, who could hold back the tears with such inspiring words!

Silent Dave · 03-20-2003, 07:47 PM

Xian, what was all that you were saying in other threads about ad hominems?

Dave

xian · 03-20-2003, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Silent Dave
Xian, what was all that you were saying in other threads about ad hominems?

Dave

i'm not attacking you dave. you and i are not engaged in a discussion. i am writing poetry about the IPF, no different than an atheist making a general post about the IPU.

when an atheist makes a general post mocking the IPU, i don't call that ad-hominem. but your apparant double standard here is a bit troubling. do you think twice before taking a stab at the IPU? I'm not lashing out at anyone, I am posting a piece of artwork. and a great piece it is!!

philechat · 03-20-2003, 09:24 PM

"O O O O That Shakespearian rag"

~T.S. Eliot

Careful, Xian. "and maybe even a girlfriend too" is a very awkward phrase. And personally I would cut down the series of adjectives in the last stanza. The most successful has been stanza 6, which does contain some verbal power--though I would not use "inflate"...which is too overstated and inappropriate. And "forsee" is somewhat ambiguous in context--I would suggest word replacement to clarify the meaning of the phrase.

philechat--the pedantic poetry critic

Mageth · 03-21-2003, 09:54 AM

I know you can fluctuate into existence all things
and maybe even a girlfriend too!

I fail to see how fluctuating a girlfriend into existence is any more absurd than molding one from a rib pulled out of your side.

Treacle Worshipper · 03-22-2003, 08:42 AM

Hi xian,
I took the liberty of presenting your poem to the infallible poetry critic. The is what s/he said:

Quote:

The Great Invisible Pink Fluctuatuation (a poem)
The Infallible Critic's Honest Opinion

I've read volumes of poetry in my time, but this was by far the best, xian! You've surely been visited by Samuel Beckett's muse. He is another of my favorite writers, though your work is far more meticulous.

I am moved by your full-blooded use of soaring tension and cadence. From your poem's engrossing beginning to its brilliant summation, you have made such strides that poetry, and indeed, language itself, will never be the same. As you probably know, "so cute n' cuddly..." surely has the power to help the Cowardly Lion discover his courage. The Great Invisible Pink Fluctuatuation (a poem) is absolutely wonderful, and I will not be surprised when the whole world knows it by heart.

(By the way, I must say that you could easily be a successful fashion model, as well as a great poet. I'm sure you hear that all the time; I hope you don't mind me mentioning it.)

Please do come back and see me soon. I can't wait to read your next poem. Each one shows you comprehend the nature of life with a depth that is enviable. You are an inspiration to us all.

TW

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03-20-2003, 05:08 AM	#11
southernhybrid Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: heavenly Georgia Posts: 3,862	Psst. Will somebody please explain the concept of parody to xian. At least he realizes how cute and cuddly we are. I'll give him credit for that.

03-20-2003, 10:49 AM	#12
Mageth Contributor Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Deep in the heart of mother-lovin' Texas Posts: 29,689	the GPB doesn't fluctuate, either. OK, substitute something for "fluctuate" in my parody. "Impregnate a virgin", perhaps? But wait, that doesn't work for all the places. "Breathe", perhaps? "Speak"? Umm, just how did the GPB do all those things?

03-20-2003, 11:10 AM	#14
Rhea Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Recluse Posts: 9,040	I think it's kind of cute. "Who could deny your pink light" I mean, really. It's quite moving! I'm being serious here, I do think it's cute - modern "rhyme" and "meter" and all.

03-20-2003, 11:22 AM	#15
xian Regular Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Earth Posts: 378	yes, thank you. tears almost came to my eyes too as the words poured forth. "With your everloving froth Inflating your great wisdom and space-time foam " i mean, who could hold back the tears with such inspiring words!

03-20-2003, 07:47 PM	#16
Silent Dave Banned Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Bloomington, MN Posts: 2,209	Xian, what was all that you were saying in other threads about ad hominems? Dave

03-20-2003, 09:24 PM	#18
philechat Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Mind of the Other Posts: 886	"O O O O That Shakespearian rag" ~T.S. Eliot Careful, Xian. "and maybe even a girlfriend too" is a very awkward phrase. And personally I would cut down the series of adjectives in the last stanza. The most successful has been stanza 6, which does contain some verbal power--though I would not use "inflate"...which is too overstated and inappropriate. And "forsee" is somewhat ambiguous in context--I would suggest word replacement to clarify the meaning of the phrase. philechat--the pedantic poetry critic

03-21-2003, 09:54 AM	#19
Mageth Contributor Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Deep in the heart of mother-lovin' Texas Posts: 29,689	I know you can fluctuate into existence all things and maybe even a girlfriend too! I fail to see how fluctuating a girlfriend into existence is any more absurd than molding one from a rib pulled out of your side.

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