Martin Willett

The day of death approacheth.

At the appointed time I, the sacrifice, will call upon all the gods of heaven to SMITE ME. One at a time, form an orderly queue, no pushing in, that includes you Loki.

I will be calling the register and calling the bluff of the immortals. Each will be given their chance to smite me with a thunderbolt, turn me into a pillar of salt or curse me with boils. And the best part is you are all invited to watch me live on my webcam.

This is the third time I have called upon the gods to smite me in this way. Third time lucky, hey guys?

This time I will be focussing on The Word of God, sacred texts, holy words, the names of god and sacred writing. I will also be giving a chance for other people to join in and share the burden and share the fun.

The Smitecam III stunt will take place in about a week. I will be stepping up the publicity and fixing the date on Saturday. In the mean time if you find the idea entertaining and would like to be a part of this event you can follow the event as it unfolds here:

Smitecam III

And you can see what Smiting is all about here: SMITECAM

It is my firm belief that the greatest religious freedom of all is the freedom to mock "sacred beliefs". A state that protects all religions equally but protects them all equally from mockery is not a free country. Who's with me?

Brave Sir Robin

This made me laff. Nice one.

Brave Sir Robin

I just had a look at your website, and had another great laugh. I'm still chuckling. Thanks!

Heathen Dawn

LOL!

You forgot: zap me Zeus!

Martin Willett

Thanks. The more the merrier. There's a lot of gods out there and plenty of room for some annoying puns.

If anybody else wants to join in the event I'd be happy to allow you a chance to have a go. As many of the gods are meant to be omnipresent it should present no technical issues. How often do you get an offer to star in a snuff movie?

If anybody has a good list of names of gods and holy words I'd be interested in receiving them, so I can burn them. The names of Celtic and Norse gods in runes, Greek gods' names in Greek script, Hindu gods' names in Sanskrit etc. are especially welcome. GIF or WMF format would seem appropriate. You'll find my email address on my website.

Not forgetting of course "Allah is Great" in Arabic and appropriate messages in Hebrew, Greek, Aramaic etc.

I suppose I could annoy the Mormons by burning any old Egyptian hieroglyphics and pretending an angel told me they meant something very important.

Dark Jedi

"Smite me, O Mighty Smiter!" -Bruce

Ego

lol, nice one! But I Ego, God of general obscurities(TM), smite you with sleepyness during the hours of 2300-0400 though coffee may hinder the smittening, but I shall ensure that you are doublely smited the next day!

Failing that, I shall ensure that your computer...sometime in the near to not-so-near future will suffer from a problem of somekind that will frustrate you!

And failing that...which it won't, cause I'm the God of general obscurities, then I shall smite thous with a cold, nothing too bad, a few coughs, runny nose, the usual winter colds at winter time, so just remember to have some lemsip handy. Bwhahahahhaah! Fear me!

Very cool, I shall have to make a point of perhaps sending in some pictures of myself demanding to be smitten!

Brave Sir Robin

Curious that Jim Caviezel, who of course played Christ in Mel's "POTC", was struck by lightning during the filming. Martin, perhaps you should don a robe and a crown of thorns for the Smiting.

Martin Willett

The only precautions I shall take is to carry my organ donor card and ensure I have clean underwear.

I've not yet decided on costume. The last time I had a simple T-shirt with "SMITE-ME" on it, I think I'll do something a bit classier this time.

starling

w00t! Be sure to add in the Necronomicon, those primordial gods can get so pissy when they're left out of human rituals. :boohoo:

That is so the bees knees baby. Too bad I'm agnostic, would get too worried about messing up my chances somewhere else (points upward) to risk that sort of blasphemy. No, I just spend my spare time rewriting the bible instead. Keep up the good work though, is a sad god who cannot laugh at itself. :notworthy