Toto

At a recent holiday gathering, someone I know only slightly told me with great seriousness that some ancient Egyptian text had been translated, and it showed that the Jews made cheesecake when they were slaves in Egypt.

I expressed some skepticism, but she claimed that she had researched it, and it was true.

If it is, no one else seems to know about it. But cheesecake (or some facsimile) is more ancient that I realized.

From here, it seems that earliest record of cheesecake was as an energy supplement at the inaugural Olympic Games of 776 BCE.

Cheesecake reports that "Cato the Elder's De Agri Cultura includes recipes for two cakes for religious uses: libum and placenta," which were used as offerings to the gods. There are links to ancient recipes for both of these, which are fairly labor intensive and involve highly processed flour, cheese, and honey.

semiopen

There is absolutely no evidence outside of the bible that Israelites were enslaved in Egypt before the Exodus story etc.

Technically the term Jews does not have any meaning until after the return from the first Exile. It is known that there was a "Jewish" presence in Egypt during the first exile (the prophet Jermiah for example) in the 6th century BCE.

Perhaps this time period is what is being referred to, although I don't think the Jewish people there were slaves.

Ben C Smith

I imagine Ruth and Esther might have made good pin-up models.

Oh, wait — wrong cheesecake....

Ben.

Tom Sawyer

Well, it makes sense. I mean, if I were an all-powerful and all-loving being overseeing the welfare of a group of people, one of the first things I'd do is give them a good cheesecake recipe. It's a bit hard to justify the concept of omnibenevolence if he holds back on letting them taste cheesecake.

mountainman

Dear Tom Sawyer,

Perhaps the ten commandments were originally recorded as the ten critical components of a cheesecake recipe, but in contemplation of the inner meaning of the wisdom of the recipe, the ancient textual critics took the whole thing completely out of context.

Best wishes,


Pete

Tom Sawyer

An interesting contention. Let's see how it holds up to analysis

1. You shall have no other gods before me.

Clearly a reference to how cheesecake is the best dessert

2. You shall not make a graven image.

Clearly a condemnation against the making of subpar cheesecakes or trying to engage in heretical acts like serving your guests a pecan pie or the like

3. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.

Not sure, but I think this refers to butter.

4. You shall not break the Sabbath.

Don't eat cheesecake on Sunday. If you have it every day, you're going to get sick of it and thus reduce your enjoyment of it

5. You shall not dishonor your parents.

Leaving a piece of cheesecake that your Mommy gave you half-eaten on the plate is an abomination in the eyes of God and man

6. You shall not murder.

When you feel like a second helping, simply ask your host for more. There's no need to kill the guy next to you in order to take his slice

7. You shall not commit adultery.

Without paying the husband a cheesecake in recompense for despoiling his property

8. You shall not steal.

Don't take someone else's cheesecake. That's just not kosher

9. You shall not commit perjury.

If you see someone taking someone else's cheesecake, call him on it. The person who made the cheesecake may be very grateful and give you a free slice.

10. You shall not covet.

This doesn't apply


So, at least eight of the ten are directly related to cheesecake. That's not bad.

spamandham

'the Sabbath' is clearly being used as a substitute for 'wind' here. The breaking of wind is exactly what happens to those who are lactose intolerant, yet eat cheesecake nonetheless. This is thus a command for the lactose intolerant to eat only soy based "cheese" cake - or to abstain altogether (:shudder.

Jeeze, do I have to spell *everything* out for you?

Roger Pearse

HERETIC! It's the ONLY dessert.

Nor lust after other desserts in cookbooks and the like.

The true meaning of this command is "you shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God." This immediately makes things clear.

No telling your guests, "they didn't have any cheesecake, so here are some biscuits." Or "Come back to my place, babe, I've got cheesecake."

Throwing up together is growing up together...

And very dangerous, and liable to provoke a clip on the ear.

... however much erasing him might be a social service to the community.

Erm, improving his property. Distract him with a cheesecake. Mind you, true believers prefer cheesecake to adultery anyway. At least with cheesecake you know it isn't infected. And cheesecake won't try to seize all your stuff.

Are cheesecakes kosher?

Nor shall you say, "Sorry, I thought this was mine."

... because only wimps can't buy their own.

All the best,

Roger Pearse

Roger Pearse

I was going to mention the passage in Juvenal, satire 11.

To-day, friend Persicus, you will discover whether I make good, in deed and in my ways of life, the fair maxims which I preach, or whether, while commending beans, I am at heart a glutton: openly bidding my slave to bring me porridge, but whispering "cheese-cakes" in his ear. For now that you have promised to be my guest, you will find in me an Evander; you yourself will be the Tirynthian, or the guest less great than he, though he too came of blood divine----the one by water, the other borne by fire, to the stars. And now hear my feast, which no meat-market shall adorn. From my Tiburtine farm there will come a plump kid, tenderest of the flock, innocent of grass, that has never yet dared to nibble the twigs of the dwarf willow, and has more of milk in him than blood; some wild asparagus, gathered by the bailiff's wife when done with her spindle, and some lordly eggs, warm in their wisps of hay, together with the hens that laid them. There will be crapes too, kept half the year, as fresh as when they hung upon the tree; pears from Signia and Syria, and in the same baskets fresh-smelling apples that rival those of Picenum, and of which you need not be afraid, seeing that winter's cold has dried up their autumnal juice, and removed the perils of unripeness.

Such were the banquets of our Senate in days of old, when already grown luxurious; when Curius, with his own hands, would lay upon his modest hearth the simple herbs he had gathered in his little garden ----herbs scoffed at nowadays by the dirty ditcher who works in chains, and remembers the savour of tripe in the reeking cookshop.

Tom Sawyer

Yes. If you read the Torah in its original Egyptian (interesting fact of the day - the slaves didn't have their own written language, so the first edition of the Old Testament was done in hieroglyphics), you'll see quite clearly that the word "kosher" is derived from two symbols "KO" (meaning "close to") and "SHER" (meaning cheesecake). So how kosher a food was referred to how well its taste complimented the cheesecake which was also being served.

Amaze your friends at the New Years party with this little bit of trivia.