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Old 05-28-2001, 10:04 PM   #1
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Post The Bible Evaluated by CAP Reports

URL: http://www.capalert.com/capreports/

It's criteria for evaluating movies is how much of :

Wanton Violence / Crime
Impudence / Hate
Sex / Homosexuality
Drugs / Alcohol
Offense to God
Murder / Suicide

were to be found in them."Offense to God" includes people saying "Oh God!" and stuff like that.

Not surprisingly, the Bible loses very badly on all of these criteria.

W: The Bible describes several acts of mass murder and what can only be called genocide. And Jesus Christ being crucified is just plain *gory*.

I: Practicing genocide on the previous inhabitants of the Promised Land is presented as a Good Thing; also, there are some very unflattering stories told about the legendary ancestors of some people (Ham, Lot and his daughters).

S: Ham being a Peeping Tom, Lot's daughters getting Lot to have sex with them, the David-Bathsheba sex scandal, David and Jonathan's relationship, the Song of Solomon, someone in Ezekiel having equipment that would make horses and donkeys proud, numerous references to circumcision, etc.

D: CH3CH2OH is the only vice there, but it is repeatedly indulged in and celebrated. Simply consider Jesus Christ turning water into wine.

O: The Biblical God is sometimes portrayed as less-than-wise, such as in the second creation story, where he has to fix his creation as he goes.

M: David getting Uriah killed, etc.; I'm not sure how that is to be distinguished from "W".

 
Old 05-30-2001, 03:07 AM   #2
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The conclusion:

Thus, the Bible is a bad movie?

Thus, the Bible should not be read before age 17 without parent?

If this is a value judgment, there should be some explication of the value and some reasons to believe that value is the right one. Otherwise it is just mudslinging.

Cheers,
Dan
 
Old 05-30-2001, 11:10 AM   #3
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Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by lpetrich:
URL: http://www.capalert.com/capreports/
</font>
Not to drag this off topic, but anyone visiting the CAP Reports site simply must take a minute to read the analysis of South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. Described as a "movie straight from the smoking pits of Hell," SP:BL&U scores worse than Natural Born Killers by one of the site's metrics, what with the 131 instances of "the most foul of the foul words " and the depiction of Kenny "igniting his anal wind."

It's a CAP Report masterpiece.
 
Old 05-30-2001, 12:04 PM   #4
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Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Throbert McGee:
Not to drag this off topic, but anyone visiting the CAP Reports site simply must take a minute to read the analysis of South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. Described as a "movie straight from the smoking pits of Hell," SP:BL scores worse than Natural Born Killers by one of the site's metrics, what with the 131 instances of "the most foul of the foul words " and the depiction of Kenny "igniting his anal wind."

It's a CAP Report masterpiece.
</font>
Do you realize how closely he had to watch the movie to write that detailed review? If only SOuth Park fans were that dedicated.

 
Old 05-30-2001, 12:08 PM   #5
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DanLewis does not get the point. My point is to see what happens when one judges the Bible by CAP's criteria, since the Bible is supposedly a very virtuous book. And it loses very badly on most, if not all, those criteria.
 
Old 05-30-2001, 04:52 PM   #6
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Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by lpetrich:
DanLewis does not get the point. My point is to see what happens when one judges the Bible by CAP's criteria, since the Bible is supposedly a very virtuous book. And it loses very badly on most, if not all, those criteria.</font>
I seem to remember that the apologetic
commentary on that is that it's proof
that man is a sinner and really needs
God.

Those guys can twist ANYTHING!

 
Old 05-30-2001, 05:30 PM   #7
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[Me on the Bible flunking some "family values" criteria...]

Kosh: I seem to remember that the apologetic commentary on that is that it's proof that man is a sinner and really needs God.

LP: Certainly an ingenious apologetic, but one that ultimately fails, because much of that flunking is due to stuff that is described as virtuous in that book.

For example, Jesus Christ is described as turning water into wine for the enjoyment of those attending a wedding feast. And he's supposed to be a sinless being, if not 1/3 of God.

And the conquest of the Promised Land is described as including genocide that God had commanded, a sort of Final Solution to the Canaanite Question.
 
Old 05-30-2001, 05:43 PM   #8
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Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by lpetrich:

And the conquest of the Promised Land is described as including genocide that God had commanded, a sort of Final Solution to the Canaanite Question.
</font>
C'mon LP, give the guy a break! All that
happened before the omnipotent, omniscient
and benevolent dude changed his mind!

I guess you might call it the "Director's cut"... ;-)

 
Old 05-30-2001, 06:48 PM   #9
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Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Throbert McGee:
[...] anyone visiting the CAP Reports site simply must take a minute to read the analysis of South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. </font>
"An all-male chorus line wore pink bikini briefs. "

BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!

I had to stop here to catch my breath. I can't believe someone typed it with a straight face.

--W@L
 
 

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